So my 17yo ss has been told by bm he "has" to come visit fdh this school hols. He hasn't spoken to fdh since late Sept when he told him "I'm not talking to you until you give mum what she wants" to his credit fdh stood his ground. Although he kept calling him, leaving the door open for him to reconnect... but to no avail. Till now.
Property settlement is done now finally. He took a real hit but for the sake of ALL of our mental health he took it. So now its over. I feel like the arrogant ss owes his dad an apology. Big time. I know its probably not going to happen.They live out of state so we only see them on school holidays. Ss17 "chose" not to come see his dad at Xmas... but has had the choice removed this holiday. Credit to BM on that one.
BUT... if he's coming against his wishes I'm really worried about what behaviour we're going to see. Also because ss15 has had the integrity to remain impartial thru the mess, his older brother bullies him because of this. Manipulative behaviour learnt at his mothers feet.
My fdh has asked me to let him handle the situation, which I will of course, but how do I welcome this person into our home who has caused fdh so much pain, made him cry himself to sleep more times than I can count, and obviously chosen to listen to and take his mums side of the story whilst telling his Dad "I don't want to get involved" Huh???
I would dearly love to say you aren't entering our home till your dad gets the apology he deserves... but he'll refuse to come & I know that would crush my fdh. He wants us all to get along. I want him to enjoy the very limited time he had with his boys but I'm not sure I can forgive the pain this person has caused someone I love so much.