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I don't know how to handle this one because I'm angry and not rational.

MissElphaba's picture

Submitted by MissElphaba on Sat, 11/15/2014 - 11:55am

We've just moved into a bigger townhome because DS 10mths needs to be able to explore and have space to play and grow. So, with that comes the discussion of what photos we will be displaying. Now - I am the decorator of the home. If I don't do it, it won't happen - SO has ideas, and wants x, y, and z to happen but he doesn't really follow through. So - I want to get some more pictures of DS printed and framed for the downstairs, now that we actually have a nice living room...and then keep the pictures we already have hung up in his bedroom. We have no pictures in our bedroom, bathroom, or kitchen. So, while I was making a list of the frame sizes I have so that I can fill them this is the snide comment I get from across the bedroom - "Now, I'm not putting only pictures of DS up. I want pictures of Mini-Seahag up, too. Maybe even a picture or two of us." :sick:

Sorry - I don't want pictures of her up. She doesn't live with us and I did not lose permanent feeling in my belly for her. I don't WANT THAT. I know that if I go through with printing pictures etc...that he will force the issue more and more and more. Frankly, I don't even HAVE pictures of SO and I that I'd want to frame and put up. DS is cute and we're talking about maybe 5 pictures between both rooms. Not epic photo displays.

If I do what he wants - I will have to do some silly wall-art with the baby-to-now pictures of Mini-Seahag. I'm not doing it. The Grand High Seahag can display her and make shrines and ALL THAT. When I moved in with SO he had "shrines" to her throughout the whole apartment. Literally. Displays of devotion to her and her accomplishments and all of it. It took a lot of fights to get them taken down so we could just decorate with normal things like flowers or candles and not even other pictures.

Yes, I have a bee in my bonnet now and I am no longer interested in decorating at all. Why is it always something?

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Sat, 11/15/2014 - 12:11pm

I'm not one to like family photos or individual person pics in my living room (not even f persons I actually love). I do have photos in my office/personal den though. As does DH in his personal room. Neither of us have the 'walk through time' of photos going on though. Older photos are kept in photo albums around here.

You're going to have problems displaying BS around the main living space and totally leaving out SD. While I understand your feelings, doing so is kinda kicking your guy. He loves the kid. Perhaps you can come up with a 'creative' (re: rather out of the way/out of sight) place for a small display. Maybe a couple shot, a shot of BS and a shot of SD. Perhaps the entrance hallway? Top of the stair case?

You could still print and frame for display additional photos of just BS for your personal spaces (maybe your computer desk, your nightstand on your side of the bed, a 5X7 on a bookshelf in the main living area).

MissElphaba's picture

Submitted by MissElphaba on Sat, 11/15/2014 - 12:22pm

I feel like I will have to suck it up and just have them up. Otherwise I will be photo-less and have to keep them at my desk at work and only in his bedroom at home. It's something I have to sit with, and get over.

blayze's picture

Submitted by blayze on Sat, 11/15/2014 - 12:58pm

It's not that bad...even though there are two 4x6 framed pics of skids above my fireplace (amongst at least 5 pics of BS) in my living room, you would be surprised at how little the pics of "not mine" register in my brain.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sat, 11/15/2014 - 12:40pm

THIS

MissElphaba's picture

Submitted by MissElphaba on Sat, 11/15/2014 - 1:07pm

I guess the part that aggravated me was that my mind wasn't even in the "excluding his daughter" realm today... }:) Just excited that I now have space to display more things that are to my taste, and a few pictures on the bookshelves of DS...so when I am automatically told how it's going to be done...I deflated and don't feel like doing any of the project now.

MissElphaba's picture

Submitted by MissElphaba on Sat, 11/15/2014 - 1:53pm

Yes! When they did my C-section, they must've hacked through some nerves in my belly. There is a good inch where the incision was that I can't feel. It's REALLY awkward.

LuckyGirl's picture

Submitted by LuckyGirl on Sat, 11/15/2014 - 4:28pm

Hm. I don't like pictures (of any kind) on my walls. I also don't like ornaments or knick-knacks in general (I actually call them "professional dust collectors". I know, I know).

Can you make prints of the kid's hands/feet and put them up? It may feel less invasive that looking at Sd's face?