Here's a little thought that has been mulling about my mind. FDH and I have talked about it too and I'm interested to see what others think. In the event of an untimely death for FDH he would like the kids to stay in my care. He is in the process of amending his paperwork with his lawyer to give me more rights simply due to the fact that I am with the kids nearly all the time. For those who don't know already, FDH has sole custody of skids with no parental or visitation rights for BM other than what he feels like giving her. He is very fair in this matter despite her less than stellar attitude and sense of entitlement. Before I have 100 biomoms on my ass saying "She is entitled! She is their MOTHER!" Save it. I'm aware, I hear it from her all the time. Don't worry, we aren't in any danger of her acting like a mom anytime in the near future. She likes to try show up to do the fun stuff for holidays and everyone else can do that pesky, hard child raising stuff.

So, in the event of his untimely death, in a circumstance where we were married (I'd refuse to take them if we weren't) is it even possible to have the kids stay with me? SD15 has already voiced that should something happen to him she does NOT want to live with her mother. I would have no issues continuing to have them go for visitation etc. They have lived with us full time for the last 3+ years which is by and large most of ss3's (stb 4) and sd5's whole life! We will be moving out of state sometime within the next 6mos-1 year and I know FDH doesn't like the idea of them having a home, living somewhere, all the sudden he is in an accident and BAM they are ripped out of their life, put on a plane and sent to live with BM who has seen them on average 4 days a month for the last however many years! BM can't even get her own life together and it is CERTAIN she cannot, and will not be able to support herself (due to felonies etc) much less them in the event of his death.

He would prefer myself and his mother (whom i get along with very well) were to take care of them collectively. I see no issue with this as it would be a help to me and she has lived with them (kids) at other points in time before. BM has already asked sd15 how she would "Get a hold of them and get them back" in the event FDH died. That made me and sd15 super concerned because she already thinks that's a done deal way to get them back. What is the general consensus say? What can be done? Obviously FDH is speaking with his lawyer but they are busy taking care of some other things right now so that isn't at the direct forefront. What's the verdict?