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How to stop the texting

Mialane's picture

Hi ladies and gents.
For the last month dh and his kids have been texting a ton. Dh asked why they never call or text him so the kids created a group text with them and their dad and the 4 of them send over 100 texts a day. Nothing important just stupid stuff. Dh loves this and it is driving me insane. He has been swooning over the last month over this. I asked him to stop and he said that the kids are communicating with him and he knows more about them now then ever before. But the ding ding ding is to much. He put it on vibrate and now it hums all the damn time. brrrrrrr brrrrrr brrrrrr. He doesn't do it during meal times or when we are talking so he feels it should be okay. To me he is like a teenage girl. He constantly has his phone on him now and he is glued to it when the ding ding ding or brrrr brrrr brrr starts. Any ideas?

Comments

HungryEyes's picture

I would think after a month, this would be wearing off for both DH and SKIDS.

Let me ask you this... are you SURE this is skids and not another woman?

When I see that many texts in a day, it can often mean an affair. I hate to say that to you but are you seeing these texts? Are you sure he doesn't have his kids name in his phone but it's really someone else?

Mialane's picture

I thought it would wear off to but it hasn't. Yes it is his kids. He is constantly trying to show me the "funny" things they say and showing me the texts. He wants to add me to the group texts. It is his kids. I also know his password and I can use his phone whenever I want.

Last In Line's picture

I text my kids frequently. DH has never said it bothers him. I'd be quite upset if it DID bother him--my kids live 6 hours away, and they are of the generation that prefers text to talking. Actually, I do too.

As long as you are sure it's kids and not an affair, and it isn't going on during meals or your alone time, I can't see why this would be such a bother to you.

Mialane's picture

Dh being constantly on his phone bothers me. He sees his kids pretty regular so it's not like you with them being 6 hours away.

Willow2010's picture

He has been swooning over the last month over this. I asked him to stop
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wait what? lol. Do you see how that kind of sounds?

I know it is annoying but this is something I would just deal with. (and have dealt with...ugh)

Especially since he is still being respectful to your time. Now when he cuts you off to text or something like that, then you have every right to get mad. Other than that...I would let it go.

Mialane's picture

I have. It's 4 of them. The girl will text something cute and then they all respond with memes. And they will text haha a lot. Like I said it's stupid stuff. Every now and then they will throw in what they got on a test or aske permission to do something. They will ask what is for dinner and that is 30 texts with everyone texting what they want and then they will find pics of what they want to eat and send those.

twoviewpoints's picture

So the 'problem' is group status. He's now getting all the silly nonsense that teen siblings fill their finger time with.

Well, Dad asked and Dad received. One would think that after a week of teen goofy, he'd grow tired of teen chatter. But he so far is obviously still enjoying it. He's feeling involved regardless of the trivial content of the messages. Lol.

You won't 'win' this one , at least not right away. He's turned to vibrate and keeping it away from the dinner table. Most people here complain about BM contact. As your daughter lives with you (and I'll assume, communicate on and off all day, every day), you're going to be hard pressed to tell him to knock off all the new communication with his.

I'm not saying it wouldn't drive me nuts, but good luck convincing Dad it's any different than having your kid in his house live edition 24/7.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Yep, I agree let it go. My DH would be thrilled if SD12 would text him. And if she did, I would just stay out of it. Personally, I think he has done everything right on this. He keeps the phone away from the dinner table or doesn't stop talking to you to get it. In the step life, it is about choosing your battles. This is so so minor, I would learn to ignore it.

HungryEyes's picture

Okay now that I know it's not another woman, I feel much better.

Listen, I have a 12 year old son who is shy and doesn't talk a lot. And our lives are busy. When we're texting, it's the best communication I get out of him so I kind of see where Dad is coming from here. It has made me feel closer to my son (As messed up as that is because we are all slaves to technology now) but at least I've got that.

I think he should be respectful of your time and I do think it will wear off. I know it must be frustrating but I'm glad he has it. I get it as a parent of teens. I really do.

MollyBrown's picture

I would tell my partner to kiss off if they asked me to slow down my communication with my kids. He is being respectful of you by not doing it at meal times of when you are in conversation. They have found a way to keep get their bond going. It is a good thing for them.

misSTEP's picture

Not much you can do without looking like an evil SM. I would busy myself with other things if he got more than a couple of texts in a certain time frame.

Teas83's picture

I'm on the fence with this one.

I can completely see how annoying it would be to have your husband on his phone all the time - the teenage girl comparison is spot on. Texting gets on my nerves in general because it drags out a conversation that could be had in minutes if you just picked up the phone and talked to the person.

But on the other hand, these are his kids so it's hard to ask him to cut back on his communication, especially if it makes him feel like he's more involved in their lives than he used to be. I do find it kind of odd (as someone above said as well) that these kids would be sending so many texts to their siblings and father.

twoviewpoints's picture

I would be suspicious of your adult kids too. I believe your SDs have frozen ice blocks rather than hearts or a genuine desire to communicate with anything/anyone but Daddy's wallet.

With the OP though, the kids are 11, 13 and 15. These kids are just being text happy kids being playing on their phones. Their text aren't even particularly to Dad. They just put him on their 'share' list.

I'm worried for your husband being back in the midst of his mother and adult children. I don't think they appreciate how lucky Dad was to still be here and how hard his recovery has been.

sammigirl's picture

It will wear off; my DH did the same thing. Grown SD even put him on their cell phone account, so he could have unlimited texting.

I don't carry a cell; I have OnStar in my vehicle, I have to travel a lot to a neighboring State; I use it when I choose to call DH; the skids don't even have my number; my number is programmed in DH's cell, if anyone has an emergency. I also figure Law Enforcement can track me down, if needed. }:)

Now he doesn't hear from them, only when he contacts them.

Hang in there!

DaizyDuke's picture

OMG! Group texts are so freaking annoying!!!! Whoever started that shit should be forced to listen to Justin Beiber at full volume, 24/7 for the rest of their lives! My cousin included me in one the other night and my phone was beeping (and then buzzing after I turned the sound off) for hours.....GRRRR I ended up just FB messaging her the next morning because I didn't want to add to someone else's incessant buzzing and beeping!!!!

My DH would lose his shit if his phone was going off all the time like that. Your DH is a dork lol

BSgoinon's picture

Wow. You would hate hanging out with me. My family has multiple group texts that are just ongoing. Some days we chat all day, some days not at all. I currently have conversations that include

All 4 sisters, mom
3 older sisters, dad
3 olders sisters, mom
3 older sisters, mom, dad
just the sisters
just the 3 older sisters
sister and neice
2 of my sisters (because the other 2 just wouldn't relate to those topics)
All of my kids
Just my girls
DH and SS
DH and the manager of SS's baseball team
SS's baseball team
OBD's softball team
YBD's softball team
2 girls at work

I get thousands of texts per day

mommadukes2015's picture

It's kind of like a new video game-It'll wear off as it becomes less "new" and adjust itself back to normal. I think it's reasonable to ask him to sideline the conversation during meal times.