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Strangers in the kitchen... ugh

marty15's picture

Now that Skids are getting older (12 & 15) they are expected to get themselves snacks, make their own lunches at times, etc. Of course they make a mess, put things back where they don't go, don't re-seal things up properly, etc.

After being in control of my own kitchen for so long, I get that I have to let certain things go, like expecting it to stay clean after I clean it, find things where I left them, not have things get dried up that are supposed to be sealed back in a package, etc.

The problem is: it really bugs me and I feel like I just want to say, this isn't really my kitchen any more, there are 2 people using it whom I have no control over and therefore I have no control over my kitchen, therefore screw it, I disassociate myself from this kitchen.

I know this is ridiculous and I should just take it all in stride and accept people (who barely talk to me, btw) messing about in the kitchen.

Okay I feel better writing this all out. I need to get over it. Just venting....

Comments

marty15's picture

Thank you. It feels good to know I am not the only one! I don't want to be a petty person, I really don't. But it's like having the neighbors come and root around in your kitche, "cook", eat, make a mess.... it just feels wrong. Like an invasion of privacy or something. Sounds dumb but maybe other SM's understand.

I know they are not the neighbors or strangers, they are my Skids, but most of the times they may as well be strangers so therein lies the problem.

But honestly, I really want to just say screw it, I'm not responsible for this kitchen anymore, if it's a mess with dried up food and petrified syrup on the counters, NOT MY ISSUE, not my kitchen!

Pook's picture

If the skids are 12 and 15, they are more than old enough to put things back where they got them and to clean up after themselves. Why can't they keep the kitchen in the same shape it was when they got there?

marty15's picture

I do remind them when I see them in kitchen, please clean up after you're finished. But of then this happens when I am work, and I don't feel like saying "Who did this? Who left this open?" etc.

You see I am nothing to these kids, just the women their dad married who cooks, cleans, drives them around, etc. A lot of hurt feelings (on my part) and years later, I finally accepted that I will always be "nothing" to these kids. So we barely talk. So their dad mainly deals with them... but he's not the one who really cares about the kitchen and he works long hours.

I'd have to find out who made the mess/left shit out/didn't seal or close this, etc, OR I would have to show DH after he got home from work and make him have them clean it up/fix this or that. It's just too much trouble I guess. If I had any control over them or whatnot, I would make them but I don't. I know this all sounds totally messed up and dysfunctional, and it is. But quietly so... on the surface everything is fine, I'm the one annoyed inside.

Pook's picture

Ugh, makes you want to booby trap stuff, doesn't it!

"What? The fridge door blew open and you were sprayed with ketchup? Weird!"

"What's that? The oven was set too high and burned all your food? Odd... I guess you shouldn't touch anything in MY DAMN KITCHEN!"

I will pray that the kitchen gremlins will attack your skids on your behalf!

I think that after a while it is just a matter of how much more stress will it be for you? Is it "easier" to just deal with it on your own, or easier to get the DH to make the skids clean up. Most of the time, it's "easier" to do it yourself. Plus, you can hide things like wine in there for you to discover!!!!

hereiam's picture

Oh, I hear ya. I have to re-load the dishwasher after my own husband. If I didn't, we'd get about 3 dishes washed. I don't like to admit I'm a control freak, but I guess I am.

Lucky for me, SD21 did not root around much in my kitchen when she visited. I think she's always been a little afraid of me! Or at least uncomfortable enough to not do it.
I'm not really proud of that and it was never my intent, but whatever works.

Queeny's picture

My kitchen is my throne! I cannot STAND it when anyone is in my kitchen. Of course, I try not to say much, because my entire house is like my kitchen...heehee! I need to tape record myself saying "Pick up behind yourself so I am not a raging witch."