You are here

Turned off!

maree80's picture

Not sure why I'm feeling this way, but at the moment I'm so turned off by my DH!! I don't even want to talk to him...I'm sitting here in our room, whilst he's out watching tv!

We've both been a little snappy at one another the last couple of days!! SS9 went back to his BMs y'day, so I should be happy but I think the fact that I have to see him every day when BM drops him here in the morning for DH to take him to school is taking its toll....I'm just step kidded out!! And when he's here in the morning, he hangs off DH and it really irritates me! I just wish I could shut myself off and not get so annoyed!!

Or is it the fact that I need to take one of my DD14's out of town next week so she can attend a week long diabetes camp, and I wanted to take her twin sister along for the drive....he got the shits because he felt like I was only taking her because I am trying to make it up to her that she isn't going on the camp (my DD who has diabetes gets to go to 2 theme parks on the camp) and I should not be making it about her but about DD who is diabetic as this is her time! But that's not it all, I just feel it would be nice for us 3 girls to go and spend a little time together before DD goes away for a week! And he also said she shouldn't be taking a day off school just to come for a drive with me!! So, I have told DD she won't be able to come to drop her off but that she could come with me when I go back to pick up her sister, since that will be the last day of school before they break up for holidays and not much work is done on the last day anyway!! To me, I just don't see what the big deal is and why I can't take my daughter with me! He wants me to give him a valid reason why she should go....I just wish I had the guts to say "why do I need to give you reason! Just let me do what I want for a change!" I feel like I'm always bending for him but it never goes the other way!! And I know that if I say anything, he will twist it around and make me feel like a bitch....which normally happens when we have a disagreement, most of the time I end up coming out feeling like the bad one!!

Sorry ladies, it a little muddled.... just had to get it out!

Comments

bi's picture

yes, this. you don't have to give him a valid reason for anything. you are her mother and if you decide she goes, she goes. what's he really gonna do about it? bitch and be pissed off? let him. he sounds like an asshole anyway! he's just trying to have control. don't let him.

Onefootout's picture

Agree, take your daughter. I think your DH might have control issues.

I may make a few comments but I would never insist on anything re SS that doesn't directly affect me.

I think DH is trying to be the dictator in your home. I would be turned off too.

Willow2010's picture

And he also said she shouldn't be taking a day off school just to come for a drive with me!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This is where I see a lot of step parent problems happening. And yes…us step moms are usually the worse. Lol

We like to tell the other parent what they can and can’t do with their own kids.

Is there any way to just tell DH that he needs to parent his kid and you will parent yours? This worked extremely well for me and my DH.

I am curious as to how you came to a place where this man has so much control over you, that you are going to make your kid stay home when you want her with you?

HadEnoughx5's picture

I agree with tog, take the advice, acknowledge it, but do what you want to do. I feel at the end of the day, what was more important or will you/ they will remember? I think a memory of spending time with with mom and their twin on the way to camp will be more important, than the one day they'll lose at school, kwim?

jaschipmunk's picture

I agree with the others. It's your daughter, do what you want. You don't tell him what to do with his child. Same goes for you. On the other thing about mornings, my SS11 is ADHD and is a nightmare in the mornings. It really stresses me out for some reason. I've got to where I do my own thing and get ready for work. DH is responsible for anything and everything with SS11 in the mornings because of his attitude/behavior before his medicine kicks in.

maree80's picture

Thanks....I know it will cause a huge fight but I'm just going to take her down with me!!

I think he thinks I'm also being unfair to SS9 by not asking him to come along, as he was upset when he found out that DD14 was getting to go on this camp! Apparently, DH said he did put SS in his place when he was whinging by saying "what's not fair is that DD14 is diabetic in the first place, so get over it!"

Who knew that blended families and step parenting would be so friggin hard!!!!!!!!!! Sad

Most Evil's picture

Well it is safer too, if you have someone with you on the road ... Instead of traveling by yourself!!