I once thought I had a great relationship with my SD up until I found out she was berating and downplaying me to her mother. When she first started living with us I empathized with her and figured how her mother raised her poorly based on her behavioral problems and the stories my SD and husband would share with me. She berated her own mother constantly up until I kept reminding her that woman is still her mother and needs to respect her. I tried to have a mutual relationship with her mother for the sake of the child but it ended when she would berate my husband to me (her ex).
Her mother lived with her new husband in a different country and would only visit once or twice a year. They would speak on the phone or FaceTime 4 or 5 days a week. Her new husband recently died from plenty of illnesses including HIV. Is the mother considering on moving back closer to her only daughter? No. During those visits and phone conversations there was a lot of manipulation going on. The mother is a master manipulator and would have adult like conversations with this child. Living with us she's a child, plays like a child, and sounds like a child. With her mother she's a gossiping, tale telling, girl who sounds like a teenage. Her mother even promotes her disrespecting us. SD lies pointlessly and downplays her father and me. It's sickening how SD will bold face lie to us while looking us straight In the eye.
After having a heart to heart conversation and constantly teaching her right from wrong she does the same thing over once she has alone time with her mother or mother's family. I have proof of this and this is not an assumption. I am really fed up with the drama and lies and I can not continue to live in my own home walking on eggshells and not having any trust for another member in my home.
How do I move forward with this without all this anger in my heart? I feel deceived and my husband is so passive with it all. How do I even treat SD? I don't even feel comfortable around her at all anymore... yet alone my own home.