Thank you for taking time to read my story. First of all, I never thought I would need to seek for help in step parenting my son (step-son) since dearly to my heart, he is my SON.

I met DH 4 yrs ago after his ex wife left him and their son (3 yrs old) at the time. She left with all the money and gone. I dont know what get in my head but I agreed to move in with him and take care of his little boy A and I bonded so fast, in fact he was "mommy boy" for a while. I think part of it made me and DH grow close together faster. 6 months later I was pregnant (accidently) and gave birth to our daughter S. Everything was fine and we got married shortly after. Right after our wedding, I found out my DH had been lying and cheating on me for a while. I want to get divorce but he threaten me that he will take A away from me since I am not legally his mom. So, I stayed and try to work thing out. I forgive DH because I do not want A go through another trauma. His Mom contacted him every 6 months or so on the phone, mostly to fight with DH and ask for money (she lived in another country) We had sole custody of A.
Anyway, I recently have another little boy, last month. A is 7 yrs old now and S is 2. The problems started a couple months ago. A started to talk back, lying (almost about everything) and changing his stories between me and DH. He got me in a lot of fight with DH since DH thought I am being treating him badly. A also treats his sister differently in front of his dad. He yelled at her and sometime hurts her. He had problems with his weight and obsession with food. I tried so hard to thin him down and eating healthy, (70lbs at 4 yrs old) DH and grandparents agreed he needs to lose weight but when I put him on a diet, they thinks I am abusing him and being to hard on the little guy. He is today in track to a good diet but I know if I turned my back he will go back. He is 7 yrs old and he doesnt brush his teeth, wont clean his mouth after dinner, doesnt know how to put on his bell,... and when I tried to teach him or remind him, DH got so upset saying I am TOO HARD on him.

A also took his game to sell to his friend for money (so he can buy snack) at school, he lied about it until we talk to his teacher. He cried at least 3 times a day, mostly for no reason. He has trouble in school and fall behind but when I tried to have him study at home, DH and grandparent got so mad at me. AGAIN, too hard on him.

I am considering a divorce since I will lose this battle no matter what. I love him with all my heart and I am parenting him just like I am parenting my own son. But his ignorance, lies, hate he had toward me is getting unbearable. It broke my heart. I seek out for help with DH but DH got so upset and say I was the problems not A. He told me NO MATER WHAT YOU WILL BE HIS STEP MOM. SO HE WILL BE MEAN AND UNFAIR TO YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. You can image how hurtful it was to me. Then, DH ask me who do I want to be to A? I said "Fine, I will be his step mom" Funny thing is as soon I said that DH got so mad and walk out. He said"then you going to treat him like a step mom?" I am confused. I can not win this battle no matter what. Noone give me a chance to be his Mom. And when I am being a step Mom, stereo type, DH thinks I am abusing A and he said it is my fault A turn out this way. I spend my 24hr day with A and the kids, cook and take care of them. I talked to teacher, I am reaching for help. When his MOM is having fun with her bf and never once call to ask how he is doing? His Dad is busy working and his own interest. Now I am the one responsible for A behavor problems.
I dont know what to do. Please help me!