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What would you do?

lrumbly's picture

Submitted by lrumbly on Thu, 04/07/2011 - 1:44pm

:?

It is suggested or requested by the kids mom that I be present at an upcoming mediation session. Would you go?

I keep going back and forth. Part of me would love to be there and do whatever I can to support the kids and my husband, but the other part of me thinks she just wants me to be there to so she can deflect or have the attention off of her...

Comments

Zoie's picture

Submitted by Zoie on Thu, 04/07/2011 - 2:19pm

I would go and see what is going on. You've been a part of these kids lives for quite a few years and you are their SM..so yes I would go... Smile Z

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 04/07/2011 - 2:51pm

I wish I HAD gone to the mediation session. It may have kept GG from signing his life away to the Behemoth!!!

Of course he was filled with so much raging guilt for not living under the same roof as the Behemoth (to be there with his children) that he agreed to probably THE most LOPSIDED PRO-BM "mediation" in HISTORY!!

He would have exploded at me for not "taking the high road" and letting the Behemoth take everything!!

Had I known how he was going to behave after the break up with the BM, I would have NEVER EVER in a MILLION YEARS had him cross my threshold and live together. I mean WHO doesn't get an attorney when the BM is lawyering up with the most powerful divorce attny in Podunk NY??

WHO signs away the entire marital abode. . .100% of it all to the BM??!!

WHO accepts all of the marital debt (her manic spending after separation included for an 18 mos period)

WHO allows their ENTIRE salary plus overtime to be DIRECT DEPOSITED into the BM's account after separating for the first six months. . .and then cutting back KICKING AND SCREAMING only after SM has a fit??!!

WHO allows the BM to drag her feet on the divorce for almost 2 years of separation; patiently waiting on the BM to file first??!!

WHO just takes the upside down van payment thrown into his lap no questions asked??!

WHO blindly agrees to paying 50% of college costs after the age of 21 until such time as they graduate (they never will; they are complete academic failures)??!!

WHO blindly agrees to 50% out of pocket orthodonture w/o verification (same thing with daycare)??!!

WHO refused to confront the BM on her many violations of even this atrocious BM arse kissing "agreement?"

Sorry, venting.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Thu, 04/07/2011 - 3:23pm

In GA I wasn't allowed to be there. Didn't want to go anyway. I don't feel it is my place. New SD went with BM and was told he had to stay in the lobby. She got her ass handed to her anyway so it all worked out for us.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 04/07/2011 - 3:37pm

I really think it depends on how involved you wish to be in what happens.

I would've liked to have gone with DH. I feel like you being present gives you an opportunity to speak for yourself, express yourself, & defend yourself. I would think your presence would make it more difficult to throw the blame your way because you'll be there to stop it when it starts. The mediator will have your POV available in the session. Perhaps it'd be an opportunity to let you & BM hash out some issues that she wouldn't normally lend an ear to.

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Fri, 04/08/2011 - 5:05am

If you are 'not the parent' in everyday life, why would you be required to act as one in mediation?

I think you are wanted there to serve as scapegoat - don't do it!