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My Value

lily11's picture

The more I read my own blogs the more I think the problem I have is not as much a step parenting issue as a selfish husband issue.

Today is DH's birthday. He and SS18 are out having dinner and I refused to go.

No more going along with the rude glares and rude attitude from SS18. I have concluded that I must have a very low self esteem to have tried so hard with SS18, ever since he was 12. He complains I get on his nerves, I don't contribute enough financially to this household. He has been rude and disrespectful and I have had to fight hard to put a stop to it.

There are no 'family' celebrations for my birthday or mother's day. Never. Why did I keep going along with making a bid deal for DH's special occasions while mine were never a special event?

Everything I have wanted takes a backseat to DH's plans. Furniture for the house, vacations... None of it fits in to the budget. What fits into the budget? Priorities set by DH based on what he and his son need.

I have begged DH to finish the backyard. So when my daughter comes to visit we can enjoy a nice yard rather than the shambles that is our backyard. The response I got was yelling, I am being irresponsible with money.

So I have spent my own money on the back yard. Everything I have wanted in this home I have paid for myself. DH makes far more than me but he always has priorities that don't include my plans.

Why did I marry this man? I am feeling more and more resentful. He is a good man in many ways, but very selfish in many ways.

The way SS18 treats me is a reflection of the way his father truly values me.


oneoffour's picture

Your story is sad. But your story is not over. Is there a happy ending?
I know you have invested in the backyard however when it is your time to shine? When is it time for you to be happy and relaxed and enjoy life? This man values money more than you. Do you value yourself more than you value him?
Why not consider a new life? A new life of downsizing? You don't lose. you win the rest of your life.