Peeing in Public Now... wtf?
Ok, so this is a new one.
Sunday DH, Good SS and I had to go out. My mom stayed at our place to watch the rest of the kids.
SS10 took off with our neighbor's son around 11 a.m. Then he stayed there for lunch. When we got home at 6 p.m. he wasn't home and hadn't shown sign of life.
We called the neighbor and she said he had eaten lunch at her house and that both of the boys had then left and presumably hung out at the park next to our house. She went looking for them, then we went looking for them. Eventually they were found, hiding in her garage the entire time.
SS10 was, of course, sitting in his own poop. When questioned about their whearabouts and why they hadn't checked in so long, and why they hadn't bothered to take a break from playing to use the bathroom, the neighbor's kid informs us that SS10 did go to the bathroom... apparently he peed on some bush. Whether the bush was in our park or in a neighbor's front yard is yet to be determined.
So SS10 was grounded from all electronics and tvs as well as playing with his friends. He was punished for not coming home and checking in, for peeing in public, for not taking the time to go poo, for sitting in his filth all day and then lying about it... Plus he had to wash his clothes by hand....
We're at our wits' end with this kid and it seems we've exhausted all medical and psychological options. The experts say to wait it out... it's not encropesis, it's not anything wrong with his anatomy, it's behavioral.
Are any of you having any better results?
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10 and still pants pooping?
10 and still pants pooping? Oh my god, my sympathies.
My SS did the same, especially with video games. The pooping seemed to stop around 6-7. The peeing during activities lasted until about 9-10, and the bed wetting lasted until 17. No lie.
He's 18 now, and I still think he occasionally still bed wets.
Wow... do you have any idea
Wow... do you have any idea why? Did he have ADHD?
"Sane" is a very relative
"Sane" is a very relative concept, but thank you, I'll take that as a compliment.
Lol! Good one! He is supposed
Lol! Good one!
He is supposed to "sit" at breakfast and at lunch, and that works--but he' really doesn't want to do it. He does feel it...
Boys (and men) love to pee
Boys (and men) love to pee outside - for some reason that I do not comprehend. But they need to be aware that flashing that willie in public can have dire consequences if others end up seeing this display.
But taking a dump in public is a totally different matter.
No joy here. We have good
No joy here. We have good days and bad. It is behavioural and that is what you need to deal with. A therapist would be able to diagnose why he's doing it. ADD/ ADHD/ ODD, which ever of those is applicable. Then assist you to treat the behaviour.
SS13 saw another therapist 2
SS13 saw another therapist 2 weeks ago after the first one said there's nothing wrong with him (HA!). This last doctor said that toilet issues are very common with children who are on the spectrum. SS definitely shows many signs of having some sort of high functioning autism. We are being referred to someone in London who can do a proper assessment.
Out of that meeting a few weeks ago, the doc gave us lactose liquid (which helps keep the poo from drying out inside him) and packets of a mild powder laxative. SS now has to take both every night. Then we are making him go on the toilet morning, afternoon and evening. Yesterday was the first day his underwear was poo free in ages. Perhaps you could look into giving your SS similar meds? Not sure what they're called in America...
Also he should be evaluated as to why he's doing this. He may be on the spectrum or ADD or whatever host of issues make kids do this stuff. I feel your pain, it's so dang frustrating to deal with!
Yea...boys do that. Tell him
Yea...boys do that. Tell him to stop. lol. Now the pooping thing is weird. But what also bothers me is that the kid (10 years old) was gone for over 7 hours and no one knew where he was? Maybe I am old fashioned but that does not sound right to me.
I mean...if he is not mature enough to hold his poop, is he really mature enough to be on his own that long with no adult supervision?
Agreed!!! A ten year old who
Agreed!!! A ten year old who not only shit his pants, but sits in it for hours.. is NOT mature enough to be around town unsupervised with a friend for hours.. and certainly NOT at friends house where someone ELSE'S mother/father has to deal with his "shitty" behavior.
welp, you know how much I
welp, you know how much I don't like to agree with you, HRNYC, but when you are right, you are right
These are the kind of things you need to nip in the bud, for sure, because if it continues to age 12 or 13? Legal fees could be on the horizon.
OP - Dear old dad has to put a stop to this. NOW!
As for the pooping issue? I got nothing for the OP. That's just gross and wrong.
Thing1 and Thing2 looooooved
Thing1 and Thing2 looooooved to pee on the tree in my backyard. I was forever telling them that the potty was the appropriate place to pee - lol!
One day we were at a birthday party in a large public park in my town. They took off for the back of the park with a couple other boys - yep, they all had to pee and figured the tree in the back of the park was as good a place as any. They were 4. They all got a talking to
It's not okay to pee in public. It's not okay to poop in public - public defined as any place that is not a bathroom...
I don't really know your
I don't really know your background...but soiling themselves is usually an indication that kid has been, or is being molested. Can you guys 100% rule that out?
I'm sure it's frustrating, but that's a definite sign of something seriously wrong, especially for 10 year old...which I'm sure you already know.
For DD2, who is occassionally
For DD2, who is occassionally having accidents, I am now really pushing her to sit on the toilet every couple of hours even if she says she doesn't have to go. If she does (sit on the toilet long enough to have a potential for an 'event'), she gets a sticker. No chart, just on her hand.
DD2 doesn't leave my sight unless she's with someone I trust to care for her.
Other than exactly the same strategies... I have no idea. But I am so grossed out and frustrated on your behalf.
come on now, moe - you KNOW
come on now, moe - you KNOW the only place for stickers is that damn sticker chart
Thanks for all the feedback,
Thanks for all the feedback, so to clarify:
1. He has always pooped his pants, was never fully potty trained. Our 3 others were trained just fine, including the youngest who's 4.
2. He's never been molested.
3. He's been seen by several doctors... BM even took him to have a colonoscopy at some point. It is not a physical problem, it is not encropesis, and he can feel it when he comes.
4. If he doesn't take the time to "sit" he will have an accident at school.
5. He has very severe ADHD and a bit of a developmental delay (he toe walks and is immature for his age).
All the experts can say is that it's possibly ODD due to ADHD. I did notice, when he was about 5, that whenever his older brother received positive attention, he would crap his pants to get the attention off of him. I can't say he's defiant when we ask hiim to do something, but apparently he's defiant with BM.
I can't fault DH... he's read every book under the sun. We've tried the laxative before bed time, we've tried just about everything.
It's less often now, about once every 3 weeks. The pediatrician thinks he'll grow out of it.
Meanwhile, it is frustrating as hell.
I'm not too concerned about him being at the neighbor's house. Our kids go back and forth. This time, it was different because they hid and scared the grownups.
He's grounded from all screens and playing with his friends for a week. He'll be doing a lot of studying.
Braces, huh? Our pediatrician
Braces, huh? Our pediatrician suggested a trampoline, so I got him one--and he loves it, however, it hasn't done anything for the toe walking). I hear there are special shoes that slant backwards...
As far as the peeing in public, I guess it sounds like something boys like to do... and if dogs are allowed to pee in the park, I guess I won't worry too much. I just have a sinking suspicion that it was in the neighbor's yard, because he keeps saying he can't "remember" where it was...
My oldest toe walked. We saw
My oldest toe walked. We saw a pediatric neurologist and a pediatric orthopedist. The pediatric neurologist diagnosed him with short heel cords and ruled out other causes of the toe walking. The pediatric orthopedist recommended we start with physical therapy to stretch out the heel cords first and if that didn't work surgery would be indicated.
My son was younger, age 4/5, and the physical therapy worked. However, at each growth spurt the toe walking would return and we'd have to do the exercises again. Now he's fully grown and fine.
Toe walking at age 10 most likely requires a medical evaluation.
tippy-toes-tina - that's what
tippy-toes-tina - that's what my mom used to call me! i was a toe-walker, and in a way, i still am. i grew out of it just fine, but to this day i still prefer 3 or 4 inch heels even on days that i'm on my feet alot.
however, i had grown out of by his age. i would definitely see if he can get in to a pediatric specialist for an eval.
Thanks for the information.
Thanks for the information. BM works in the healthcare industry (I don't want to post too many details) and knows best *cough*, but I will bring it up to DH again. Our pediatrician doesn't seem too concerned. Maybe we need a new one.