Annoyances
Yesterday I was heading to the shops with a plan in mind for weekend meals. Particularly looking forward to a Sunday roast. Lucky I told dh as he pipes up 'oh ss asked for fajitas this visit'... right, so when were you going to tell me? Equally that's kind of nuts considering you're not even fondvof fajitas and dd definitely doesn't like them!
Later in the afternoon, I am now cooking a Saturday roast lol, dh and dd 6 are playing a game. Ss rings dh out of the blue and asks him to bring his match cards over to his town. Dh is clearly taken aback, and says its 4pm, I'm awaiting my dinner, then finally that he will be here tomorrow to use them.
He sounded like such an idiot, flapping and stuttering, god forbid had to say 'no', and just no would've sounded so much better!
Then finally in the evening bm emails dh to confirm holiday plans this year. But she doesn't just confirm, she has to include totally irrelevant info. For example that she will have to pack ss case for (our) holiday on such and such a date, as her and her bf will be away up to then....we could care less, don't need to know that or all the other pointless sh#t you wrote. Why does she do it? She might be angling for us to have ss while they're away I guess, hope she's arranged childcare!
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Comments
DH "SS wants fajitas for
DH "SS wants fajitas for supper his next visit"
You "oh yummy. I'm glad you're going to make them for us, I'm sure they'll be delicious. While you're at the store picking up the fixin's could you grab a loaf of bread, some frozen corn and a box of corn starch" (insert your own items of course)
I think non-grocery shoppers
I think non-grocery shoppers don't understand the mental load that goes into shopping for a family.
When you're single, you can just walk in, grab what you want/need, pay, and walk out. But when you have food allergies, varying tastes, texture problems, varying heat sensibilities, and a budget to fit it all into, it's a lot. That doesn't even include planning for how much of each thing you need to buy in order to make the meals, which also means at least having some idea of what you're going to cook during the week. Then you add in the time it takes to look through your pantry/fridge to figure out what you need to buy, throw out expired food, clean off shelves, and putting away groceries in addition to the actual travel/shopping time.
It's a lot, and having someone last minute just throw out "hey, my child wants this semi-complicated and time consuming meal that only they really want to eat" would (and has) send me into a fit. That's when you take AgedOut's advice and enjoy someone else cooking and shopping for you (or keeping with your original plan when they realize the effort that goes into planning just one meal).
This exactly! I stopped doing
This exactly! I stopped doing much shopping and cooking when it became clear that no one appreciated the time or effort it took. When DH (yes!) Started undermining my fridge grocery list I was like, ok then, YOU do it.
He doesn't complain any longer. But he still goes to the store once a week and does most cooking when YSD is here.
Thank you for saying this!
Thank you for saying this! One poster jumped on me wondering why I get so upset about dinner plans. I wouldn't if DH woudl just let me plans the meals and cook what I want when I want. It's when plans change at the last second (or I dont even know the plans to begin with) plus trying to make 3 people (him, me and SD )happy when we all like to eat differently and now on top of all this the cost of groceries - the whole thing is just exhausing!!!!
What? Why not use your wicked
What? Why not use your wicked SM mind reading and control powers to magically know what everyone wants to eat and when or better yet ... Make them eat what you actually prepare? Bah hahaha... I always made "take it or leave it" for dinner. When the SK's turned up their noses then we had it more often. (I am fine with courteous requests but I better not hear entitled, "I hate cheese in my salad" or "Don't you know I don't like such and such? ...") Fortunately DH stays out of it, as he should, I do all the buying, cooking and most of the cleaning.
DH has ever outright
DH has ever outright said the word "No" to the SDs less than five times since I've known him. It's incredible the machinations he goes through to avoid that word. Five minute long explanations of why maybe, if, but, did you knows during which the SDs eyes glaze over.
He dislikes my pat answers to them, and still does. I told him about YSDalmost16 crawling over my things instead of just going around the car, and he seemed actually upset I admonished her. I told him, hey, she was rude and it was totally unnecessary, she's almost 16 not 5!!!! So yes, I told her not again. He has no say in that, period. It's like he's constantly protecting her from me. Because I have standards and don't let kids/teens call the shots? Yep.
if it's your car, it's your
if it's your car, it's your rules and if she doesn't like it... she can walk or stay home or call the daddy taxi service.
Exactly.
Exactly.
It is hard to deal with these
It is hard to deal with these SK's that have 2 permissive parents that give the SK's the message that their needs, wants, feelings, hopes and dreams are MORE important and smarter than anyone else's, even more important, brilliant and correct than their Bio parents or other adults. I will never understand this mentality. Kids are fickle and don't have the life experience and maturity to run their own lives much less the entire family. Kids need structure and containment to feel safe so WTF put delicate genius SK's in charge and let them make decisions for everyone? The SM comes along and tries to lay down some rules and family hierarchy and SK's think we're the bad guy. Sorry, but your parents failed at raising you. You suck.
Thanks all x
Things just went bad to worse today, I feel like it's a huge step back.
I understand the weather is rubbish and kids get bored easy, I thought ss wanted to go in the garden to play football. Transpired that he just wanted to entice dd out to smash and throw all the Ice in the tough trays, throw it around the garden, into the trampoline etc. Generally a 12 Yr old big lad acting like a 6 Yr old horror until we lost our shiz.
They've just made their fajitas, which I took no part in, but walked in to them discussing clothes for the holiday I've bought. In short, we live in UK, going to Mexico and bm has instructed ss to buy all ss holiday clothes via his Xmas vouchers here?! Serious?! That is soooo petty!!! He will have and need several summer type holiday clothes with them before that! Feel like messaging her myself and saying I am paying for ss to come behave like a turd not dh, so please provide his clothes! But of course I won't
Even with my own kids, i try
Even with my own kids, i try to plan meals they like, but last minute changes due to whims don't happen. If they don't want to eat what i make, they are welcome to heat themselves up a can of soup.