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Scared?

lifeisamystery's picture

Hi, I am not really sure about how I feel, besides being scared and jealous. Scared because things haven't changed, and jealousy over my 25 year old stepdaughter. She lives on her own, goes to school and bartends. She lives 30 miles away, so we don't see her a lot. She is the center of my husband's universe (friends have told me this also). I have 3 biological older children, and they are also on their own and very successful. Stepdaughter has "borrowed" money a couple of time from us. Both times for $1,000. My husband does come to me and ask it it's ok, but I say no, he yells and walks away from me, and she still gets the money. She has had a DUI a few years ago, and had a married man living with her (he has gone back to his wife). She drinks way too much for a young girl, and her dad and I have said this to her, which of course she doesn't agree with. BTW her car insurance is very high because of the DUI on her record. She recently ran into someone from the back, and as she posted on facebook, it was totally her fault. She put a picture of a piece of cake and a drink--that she needed to treat herself because of the wreck. She needed $1,000 for the deductible because it's a new car. I never said anything, but I finally emailed her that she should slow down on her drinking, and if she needed money, she should work a second job--I did! She immediately called her dad on his way home (I wasn't with him). He didn't voluntarily tell me she called. I had to ask him if he heard from her, and he said yes. That she didn't agree with my email because it was untrue and mean. I asked him what he told her, and he said, well yeah, I told her I didn't totally agree with everything too. I was mad because he didn't back me up (and this isn't the first time). They text back and forth (which he doesn't tell me what she says unless I ask when he laughs because I am being nosey). I admit, I have jealousy over her, and I am scared because I hate this feeling and that I won't be able to stop. She recently sent a text, saying that she wants to see him more, and would he come over next week and they would spend the whole day together. This is different, as sometimes he wouldn't hear from her for two months at a time. When she does come over for a holiday, she sits next to him or on his lap. I guess the biggest part of this problem, is that my husband doesn't back me up when it comes to her.