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Mostly just complaining

LemonGrassLove's picture

This blog is about my mother-in-law. Most of the time I really like her, we get along great, and everything is kosher between us. Until the boys get brought into it.

My MIL has a kind of weird maternal bond with SS because, let's be honest here, his parents were USELESS for the first 7 months of his life. SO even admits he was a terrible father at that point in SS's life. He's made up for it now but it seems like MIL has never really made the switch from mother figure to grandmother figure. With SS, it doesn't really bother me. But since my BS has been born she's been doing more and more things that just drive me ape sh*t.

Example: Calling BS the 'Family Baby'... No, lady, he's my baby.
She calls SS "Handsome" like as a proper noun, one time she called my BS "Handsome's brother". If looks could kill, that woman would be dead. And she knew it.

And I think I know why she's having such a hard time switching, she sees her grandsons as her 'second chance' at parenting. Both of her kids were bat sh*t crazy for a while there. Her daughter is still bat sh*t crazy, though SO has figured out what it means to be an adult. It's just very frustrating that she almost sees herself as a third parent. She doesn't see them routinely, sometimes she'll go two or more weeks without seeing either boy. But she still has this parent air about her that just drives me up the wall...

It's not a big enough issue to call anyone out on, it's just irritating...

Little side note, I've had a few people shake their fingers at me for look at Moby's facebook but I looked to see her reaction to get sentenced to jail time. This girl is so stupid... If I had a quarter for every time she said, "I've figured it out, I'm going to do better for my children!" or some variation of that phrase, I could probably quit my job and buy a yacht... She literally says this phrase every few weeks for the past 3 years and so far, nothing has changed... If anything, it's gotten worse. Who knows, maybe getting two felony charges will wake her up... But I'm not holding my breath.


jennaspace's picture

My MIL was the surrogate BM and she caused me tons of grief. I never had any problem with BM, my MIL took her place. She also wanted to be a surrogate mom to my BS. It's very strange but it happened. I suggest you distance yourself from her to concentrate on your H and BS properly. People like this take up too much real estate in the head.

smdh's picture

My dh's entire family thinks parenting is a "family" event. Might be a good thing if they actually parented, but they all have this lazy "someone else will address it" thing going and use the phrase "all kids do that" way too much for my liking. I very firmly let them know that we do our own parenting. They never have access to BS without me. EVER.

starfish's picture

LGL, i share your feelings in regards to mil. i don't have any bios, so at least i don't have that battle, b/c it would get real UGLY real fucking fast.

but, i believe my mil truly thinks she is a better bm to sd than her real mom. i'm not a bm fan, but wtf? lady, it's not your kid. i'm not kidding, mil is more involved with sd's, school, w/e's, extra curriculars, when she started her period, who her friends are, you fucking name it....than bm or dh for that matter, but that's a whole different can of worms, dh loses his spine when the need to confront mil comes up.

seems, mil has unknowingly sabotaged her rare invite to come to my house for a mother's day dinner by extending the invite to bringing skids from their own mother. starfish doesn't play that game, the sunday morning cancellation is going to suck for her!

i would keep MY kid as far away from mil as possible. good luck!