When the cup is getting empty
Or the tank or whatever you folks call your reserve that keeps you sane
I work from home but I work a customer facing job meaning I need to be at my computer as much as possible. I work the same amount of hours as DH
I did a small experiment to see if he'd start doing household work if I wasn't. Now he'll nag me up and down if I forget to make the bed but this man rarely takes out Trash, cleans up, dishes, has got the mail TWICE ( mailbox is a lockbox down the street) since last year
His family is moving here and had their mail forwarded here while they are finalizing the house. I'm happy to have them around the stepkids but I told DH to please start collecting the mail.
Well his oldest was over today. Business as usual he's glued to his damn phone and she's playing video games while I make her dinner ( I offered )
DHs dad called and I try to get DHs attention because his family needs the forwarding mail to active the address change. Which I got ( did not say that). Nice thing to mention I thought?
Wrong apparently. He gets stern in front of SD ( same tone he uses to correct the kids ) to me
I can't have two conversations at the same time ? Do I ever interupt you on the phone ?
Doesn't sound bad in text but just bad bad tone.
We sort of rarely address these things and live and let live but I'm pissed. I bend over backwards for his family ( who are grateful) and his kids . I supported this whole damn move last year. Only to get corrected like a child.
I also realized he hung up on his dad after saying that to me. He knows he screwed up there as his family loves me as I do keep them in the loop more than him
He's a good husband overall just such a jack ass sometimes. I'm beginning to think the lack of respect from his kids ( they see me more as a friend at 3 and 6) is because he doesn't try and address issues correctly and DH addresses me the same as when they are in trouble
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So in precisely what way is
So in precisely what way is he a "good husband overall"? He talks to you like you're a servant, disrespects you in front of others, never does any housework but feels entitled to berate YOU over it? Sorry, but he sounds like a complete knob head to me.
For the most part he's really
For the most part he's really respectful and has his moments. Every now and again he'll do a whole house clean out if I'm away from town to surprise
He tries to help me with issues and does take time out of his day to make sure he and I have time to be together and bond. He's also no longer a Disney dad.
But I can see what you mean.
Exactly - where does the
Exactly - where does the 'good husband overall' come in? If that were truly the case, your cup would not be close to empty.
I agree with the other two,
I agree with the other two, how exactly is he a good husband? He nags you when you don't do what he expects you to, yet doesn't help around the house himself, fails to show gratitude for the ways you help him & his family, and talks to you like you're one of the children. Communication also seems to be an issue between you two, which isn't healthy. He sounds like an ass.
If my DH got "stern" with me IN FRONT OF A STEPKID
One of us would be out of there.
Same here ... and possibly
Same here ... and possibly via a window.
girl! My husband use to nag
girl! My husband use to nag me about the most simple, little, illogical things because he is on everything. I had to flip the script on him to make my point clear that it needed to stop. Did he stop? oh yes he did. He also tried to address me the way he does with his children and compare me with them and the day came that I also had to make it clear that I was his wife and not his child. That changed too.
Throat punch him. Little b***
Throat punch him. Little b**** man.
Have a serious conversation with him (out of the kid's earshot of course. DOn't need to give them any other reason to not respect you.) Point all this out, let it be known that you will NOT be dealing with this anymroe. Let him know exactly how it makes you feel and exactly what the results have been. Remember to approach this as it being YOUR feelings, if you start there, most men are less likely to get overly defensive and start deflecting.
Lol I thought you meant the
Lol I thought you meant the first line quite literally for a moment.
I'm going to try this today. I am beginning to think emotionally things aren't 100 percent to him if that makes sense. Not spectrum level but it seems hard for him to understand emotions. He'd understand something literal ( being sad because a family member passed away) but not much else (feeling lonely, frustrated and crying because of it)
I mean honestly, part of me
I mean honestly, part of me did... Might knock him into his senses and remind him you're an adult capable of doing things... LMAO
My DH is like that too. He responds to "logic." I put it in air quotes, because he secretly seems more emotional that me, he just doesn't voice it, so he assumes he's "logical." My DH doesn't understand the lonely feeling and crying... At. All. But it's a thing. But yes, going in with some logic does help keep them from the defense. Keep us updated!