GASP!!!! I think I want to adopt my Sks!
Ok, so I have been doing a lot of thinking and I want to adopt my step kids. I have been raising them since we got Sole custody back in 2013.
Their BM Hasn't seen them at all since then ( well technically she hasnt seen them since dec 2012) , doesn't pay child-support, and the 2 youngest steps don't even know who she is! They think they came from my tummy, and hubby and I agree to not argue with them or try to explain the truth because we don't want to confuse them or hurt them or make them feel that I don't love them because they didn't come directly from my body. I love these kids with all my heart. yes the transition into becoming a family was difficult the first year, but these last couple years have really been great all in all and I love them more than life itself. All the kids, my bios, and sks are very close and bonded. I raise all the kids the same and would really love to be their legal mother, not just their step mom and financial provider. Is this a good idea? Should I bring it up to hubby? im nervous and also excited!
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I WILL be their mom, I WILL
I WILL be their mom, I WILL NOT allow someone who sexually molested and abused these kids and also allowed their husband to sexually and physically abused and molested these kids, to ever call them self a mother to them. Mothers do not ever do that crap to their children nor allow someone else to. the stand there in court and try to defend the molester Lester spouse, and think they will be anything to these kids except dust in the road, a temporary nightmare to which these children have been saved. I know you dont know they whole story but This ( not sorry for the next word) CUNT will NEVER be a mother to these kids.
We do not encourage it, we
We do not encourage it, we just change the subject.
You CAN adopt without BM
You CAN adopt without BM signing over her rights. You have to file for and prove abandonment which would be pretty straight forward in this situation.
She signed her rights away in
She signed her rights away in an attempt in court to prevent my husband from going for custody ( not sure why she thought this would work at all) because she is stupid and didn't know what that meant and we immediately got SOLE Custody. I know i didn't fully explain but hope that helps without having to go into the entire process.
Thank you to everyone who
Thank you to everyone who responded. I hadn't had a chance to be on here to check since i have been busy with work and kids and life, however i did want to mention that we spoke with an attorney and I am able to adopt them. Their Bio mom signed her rights away in court when we got sole custody, and hasn't seen them in years. We know what we need to do paperwork wise and should be getting the ball rolling on that soon.
Some of you have posted that you think I shouldn't adopt them because i dont know where my relationship with my husband will go 30 years from now, however, These kids are my heart and soul. To me they are as mine as if i have given birth to each of them myself. Regardless of what "may or may not" happen in the future. I already love these kids and support them and will continue to do so regardless. They are my babies and to me..., I love ALL 7 of my babies.:)
As far as telling them about their birth mother, we have spoken to them since i made this post, My oldest SS8 remembers her but to him I am his mother regardless, My SS7, kind of remembers her i guess from what he said but he also said that I am his "mommy no matter what" (gosh he is sweet!
) and SD6, doesn't remember Bio, and looked at us like we were nuts and was telling us " my mommy is sitting right here dad, gosh your so silly" So we are leaving it at that.
When they get older if they want to discuss it we can no questions asked, but as of right now, they know who their mom is (me) and that our family is full of unconditional love.