I know someone is just going to tell me to leave now instead trying to work things out but i have invested too much into my marriage just to walk away now. I have been married for about eight years now. My husband was an older man (6-7 years difference depending on the time of the year) and I was 20 when we got married. Hubby had 4 children with his ex, they now range from 17 to 12 years old. I told all of the kids when I first met them that I wasn't there to replace their mom, that they could call me by my first name, and that I was just another parent that their father chose to be with. It took years for the kids to get use to me, I was always trying to be the "good witch" of "evil stepmother land". The BM told the kids I was the reason the parents marriage failed! Some of the kids still believe that today!!! Funny thing was I didn't even know their father when he came home and found her the sweet BM cheating on him or when she left him and moved in with her mom (2 states away from him)! It hurts when you show nothing but love and compassion to the kids and they treat like the slut who f_cked up their life. This is how much I loved them..... When I was overseas on a deployment to the big desert land I wrote Coach Bobby Bowden (Head FSU Football Coach) about my oldest stepson because he had developed a brain tumor back in the states and my unit wouldn't allow me to return because he wasn't my biological son, Anyways, I wrote to him because my stepson played quaterback in little league and loved FSU at the time and I asked Bobby Bowden if he could please do anything for my stepson to help him through this difficult stage in his life. Well, Bobby Bowden came through and sent my stepson a autographed picture of him on the 50 yard line and told him the whole team was praying for him! My stepson tumor shrank and hasn't been a problem since. I would have gone to hell for the kids. Now, I wouldn't spit on them if they were on fire! A couple of years ago my life changed. The oldest stepson moved in with us because he couldn't get along with the meth-head their BM was with! Great role there, her whole family is screw up on one drug or another! I couldn't let the kid think that nobody loved or cared about him so, I welcomed him with open arms into my house. That's when everything changed! My hubby couldn't step up the plate and enforce and rule or restrictions on the kid. It was here's the damn SM being queen b_tch again, hubby didn't even tell the state about his son living with us so they could change the child support. Another year down the road and the BM has child with the meth-head. Only funny part is now this piece of garbage is getting taken to the cleaners over child support too because she booted him out after the baby was born! The BM is a conartist at trapping men into child support. THe BM just booted her youngest with my hubby out because he was too much for her to handle. Any sane parent couldn't do that! So, of course I open my doors again. There are now 2 kids with us and 2 with her and my hubby will still not get the child support adjusted! Now, I have to be the rule enforcer to both of them. My rules are simple quite easier than the one I grew up with! If they do good they do get rewarded either by money or things they want. I am not some evil person but, with discipline comes challenges especially since they are teens. It seem now I still have to be the bad guy. My husband tells me he doesn't want anymore kids, that he doesn't want to start over. Granted I loved our life before the kids moved in but now the BM was good enough to have kids with and I am not???? I know he was 16/17 when they had the first child and was pushed into marriage because it was the right thing to do but, what about me and my family? I still haven't told my parent's no biological grandchildren because that would piss them off. I have never forced or entraped my hubby to do anything he didn't want too and I get "shafted"! As for the discpline thing he now complains that he tired of the "drama" I am sorry but if he f-ing man-ed up I wouldn't be going through this!!! The kids are teens and drama is part of their rebellion that all teens go through and this sh_t is my fault how? I love my husband and miss the better days but my marriage is wasting aways because the the kids. To tell you the truth if I could go back in time, things may be played out differently. I definately would've thought the words for better or for worse out a whole hell of a lot more than I did at the time! Sad thing is if our marriage does go sour beyond repair is, I have nothing to offer next relationship. We have a house, seperate vehicles and all but who is going to want a late 20's slightly overweight pessimistic person? I do have a college degree and do good for myself but don't know if I would spend my time on a relationship ever again. I do love my hubby so very much but the kids have definately had a negative effect on my marriage. For now, I am hanging in there! I still wonder why am I the bad person? Thanks for reading, it feels good to finally be open to someone about my feelings!