DISRESPECTFUL STEPDAUGHTER
My husband and i are married for 10yrs. My stepdaughter moved with us unplanned just 4months after I came to Canada. She stayed in our room and thats when the problem started. She would open my closet and purse and steal my things. She will make a noise while im sleeping or won't knock on the door before entering. She would leave her used underwear on the floor inside our room. She would leave a mess inside our room. She would turn off my music player in front of me. My husband would always fight about this and blame me for everything. He also told me once that im just making small issues a big beal. He never apologized to me from his daughters behaviour, instead she made feel like a a bad guy here. My husband and i decided to sold the townhouse and moved to a bigger one so she could have her own room. She brought her ex-boyfriend in the basement and they make out. Then her new boyfriend would always visit my house and will never give respect to me, no greetings or hi at all. I would sometimes get home seeing them lying in the couch with just underwear and shirt. She smoked marijuana inside ger room. My husband allowed his daughter and her bf to stay in her room provided that they will leave the door open. But she would always do what she wants, so she would bring her bf in her room and they will close the door. Last night i told her in a nice way that, if ever they planned to stay inside her room to please leave the door open coz thats what we've agreed on. Then she talked back to me and said "i dont know what your problem is! Mind your own business coz i just mind my own business!" So i got pissed and told her well this is my house and you cant do anything that you want. You have done so much already in this house and im not letting you do what you want. If you cant respect the rules here, you are welcome to leave this house!" And the she said, well then kick me out! And then my husband attacked me yelling at me infront of my daughter and her daughter and her bf saying, you dont have the right to talk to my daughter that way! I am the one paying for this mortgage so you dont have any right here! I was shocked because he never asked me what happened. Btw she is 22yrs old now.
- Katherinesanjuan's blog
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Comments
D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
you are coming in dead last in H's world. Time for an exit plan.
Exit plan? He gave her one
I would film him saying those things: kicking you out. And then leave. Show that you cannot stay there.
That is untenable. I've been there with DH believing his own children over me and defending them. It's horrible to realize that you are expected to kowtow to a bunch of strangers who can treat you worse than a servant.
exit plan
i.e. attorney consults.
Trying to stop adults having
Trying to stop adults having sex is never going to work.
It sounds like your husband is determined to let his daughter continue to live in his house and continue to disrespect you.
I see 4 possible way forwards for you:
1. do nothing, put up with things, hope the duaghter leaves or your husband starts respecting you and demanding that his daugther does the same.
2. Leave him
3. Carry out a SD erradication plan behind your husband's back and make living in the house so uncomfortable for your SD that she leaves of her own accord.
4. Pursade your husband that the best thing for his daughter is if he helps her to get her own place and become more independent - you might need a therapist to help you with this.
Are you a legal resident in
Are you a legal resident in Canada? Can you support yourself if you leave him?
Im sorry you are going
Im sorry you are going through this. That girl sounds like a horror story. Where is her mother? She seems like she was raised terribly for being that way at 22yo
I would not pay mortgage and
I would not pay mortgage and be treated like that in return. You need to see a solicitor. You get a say in who lives there because you pay the mortgage, I hope the property is at least half on your name.
You need to get her to move out.
You are being bullied by your partner and his daughter. This is going to require a well thought out and crafty tactical approach. Or just chuck her stuff out and see if your husband follows.
That’s below the belt issue now…
It's not the end of the world! Your husband chose already which one of you. There is no respect amd love anymore. I swear... RUN!