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who buys the car and pays for insurance

karinbart's picture

OK - need some advice. My 16 year old stepdaughter just got her license and her BM wants to spend 10K on a 2005 car for her. We have my daughter (who is away at college) car sitting in our garage for her to use on the 8 days a month she is here and so we decided not to contribute towards her moms car. Now my SD is upset that she doesn't get to take a car back and forth to and from each house. My husband initially agreed to have her drive the car while here but now is saying she should have one car to drive.

What do other parents of divorce do out there?

Our custody arrangement states 50/50 but the child chooses to spend only 8 days a month here and we pay child support as well.

Comments

sixteensmom's picture

Your CS pays for all her needs at the other house. you dont have to contribute to a crazy bm wanting to give a kid a 10k car. Letting her drive the car you have at your house is very kind. Does she have a job to pay for insurance and gas? My kids alll bought their own cars. My step kids were all GIVEN cars, or two, and could never afford the insurance so dh paid that too.

Rags's picture

We bought the car, SS-18 pays the insurance. My wife is the CP and he has always lived with us and visited the SpermIdiot under a Custody/Visitation/Support Court Order.

Since he enlisted in the USAF and will pay for college with his GI Bill and VA benefits we decided a new car was the last thing we could do for him to get him launched.

A new car that is reliable and paid for removes the burden of that part of supporting himself.

SASX's picture

The SD gets to pay for her own car and insurance, gas and repairs. With the fun of having a vehicle comes the responsibility of paying for one.

AustMum's picture

Eh what is it with parents giving their kids cars?! I had to get a JOB to buy my 1st car & the insurance and maintenance! A lot of my friends got bought cars and didn't look after them but because I had to work hard and save hard for a car and I looked after it very well. ... Kids should have to earn and work for things - just my two cents worth!

doll faced sm's picture

Um, I think you mis-read the original post - or perhaps I did. Anyway, the car that they are letting SD use on the 8 days she is there belongs to OP's DD who is away at college. I'm pretty sure the law still does not allow people to give away property that is not theirs. It's the DD's car to keep or give away as she sees fit. Personally, I think she (the DD) is being beyond generous by allowing the SD to use her car while she visits.

karinbart's picture

She did buy the car but taking it to college is too expensive so we are holding it for her. Also, it is a 20 year old car not an expensive newer model. She is letting her sister use the car while she is away. Also, my stepdaughter has had her license for all of a month and already hit a car with her mom's car...now insurance goes up!

I didn't realize there would be such anger here.

NCMilGal's picture

After the netbook debacle (BM essentially demanded we buy SD-then-almost-14 one for Christmas 2009, we decided she deserved it, SD has been banned from it since May 2010) we refuse to contribute money toward anything we do not directly control.

Cell phone? Nope.
Car/insurance/license fees? Nope.

If we had custody, it would be a completely different matter, but we don't.

PrivateTalk's picture

When I was younge I was told to get a part time job and then saved up to buy my own car, once I did that my parents both helped with insurance until I was 18 then it was all on me. Giving a 16 year old child a car may seem cool at the time but in the long run it teaches her that the really big things will just get handed to her, she will also care for the car better if she was made to earn it. and no 16 year old needs a 10K car that's crazy....

If you must go with the parents buying the car I think all parents should choose the price they are comforable with and then have the daughter pay for insurance herself but 10K is really a bad idea she is a beginner driver get a begginer car Smile

hope I helped Smile

CaptainD's picture

In our situation, my dh's father (ss's gpa) bought him a car for $3000. We pay insurance, and ss pays for all his gas money. The minute insurance goes up, ss will be paying insurance as well. So far, so good.

Rags's picture

We too have our kid's car (my SS) while he is off starting his USAF career. We drive it rather than have it sit and since it gets far better gas mileage than either of our cars.

If we had another driving age SKid in our home I would not allow the car to be used by that kid anywhere but when that kid is with us. If, hypothetically, I had a BK with my XW (thank god we did not spawn) and my XW called to ask me for $5K to buy a car for the kid at her house my response would be a raucous belly laugh followed by a resounding YHGTBFKM!

If I was the NCP paying shit loads of CS to an X then the X can foot the bill for the car for the kid. CS is all I would provide except when the kid was with me.

If I was the CP receiving CS and the kid was with me the majority of the time .... I would have no issue with buying the kid a car for use when the kid was home. I would solicit neither money nor an opinion from the NCP. As for using the car to facilitate visitation .... NOT A SNOWBALLS CHANCE IN HELL!!!

If the NCP wants to see the kid the NCP can pick the kid up and drop the kid off per the CO. If the CO calls for travel to be split between the NCP and the CP my opinion would not change. NCP picks the kid up to start visitation and the CP picks the kid up to end it.

Maybe a bit vindictive of me but if I was an NCP I would not contribute one micro-penney that my X might benefit from above CS.

Milomom's picture

I agree with HelpMeee, StepAside and Rags (and anyone else above that feels that a car for ANY 16 yr old is a WANT, not a NEED).

caregiver1127's picture

My SS wanted a car and we told him that he needed to get a job and save for a car - as everyone has said a car is a want not a need. Of course BM bought him a car (she of coursed used the stocks she was supposed to give DH in the divorce and forgot to give them to him so here again we paid for his car and she gets the credit) because she is never home out having a good time and does not want to drive SS anywhere so that is why a car was bought. SS told us he needed a car to get a job well he has had a car since August and still does not have a job and told me the other week that he will never get a job because his mother says he does not have to. We also refuse to pay for insurance because he won't work -

I say if BM wants to buy her a car let her that is her choice - that is an awful lot for a 2005 car and if SD16 wrecks it that is money down the drain and I would also not let her take the car to BM's it is your DD's car and needs to stay at your home. PEROID - the girl wants a car let her buy one.