You are here

Taking Sides

just tired's picture

So many of us stepmonsters write about how the skids want to force their bio-parent (dad or mom) to "take their side" or to choose them over the stepmonster.

My thoughts on this are (and what I'd like to tell my SD14): There aren't any "sides" you idiot! The only reason it seems that there is a side to be taken or a choice to be made is because of YOUR behavior.

Comments

giveitago's picture

I agree with you, the kids pick up on any difference of opinion between parents and hone in on the parental option that they choose to go with. This happened to DH and I, so I know it first hand. The awful truth is that some kids are so manipulative that bio parent believes the bullcrap and, I believe, that is what causes the most friction in relationships.

Anywho78's picture

Oh yes...I had to painstakingly point out behaviors that were outright manipulative to SO. It took him awhile but he finally saw it Wink

Anywho78's picture

I'm whole heartedly with Dog Person on this...

My SKids do try to play one of us off of the other (I say no & they go around me & ask SO) but that's a normal kid behavior that only gets worse if both parents don't nip it in the bud.

bi's picture

sd19 definitely thinks there are sides, and she thinks we are equals as well. i thought by now she would understand that we are not. i think she has finally grasped the concept of us having different roles in fdh's life, but she still thinks we are equals. she thinks she can tattle to him if she isn't happy about something i have done or said or won't do, and i will get punished like a child. i'm pretty sure the reason he didn't hear anything out of her on father's day is because she is mad that he won't punish me for not being her damn nursemaid/midwife/wet nurse like she thinks i owe it to her to be.