I reccomend that you do some reading around here first. And then look up "mini wife".

ANd then consider that hes got TWO daughters and he will not ever change his behavior and consider if this is the life YOU want for yourself. Do you want to sacrifice yourself and your bios on the altar of his failure to parent spoiled bratolas?

You have a really long hard road ahead of you.

REALLY consider that you should throw this fish back. Hes using you to help finance his Disney Fun ATM parent trip. Thats obviously not ok with you, or you wouldnt be here posting.

SD sounds like a miserable spoiled brat, but she is not your problem - her father is. Do not marry this man, he is unavailable. Hes got his mini wife ruling him.

RUN!

If you marry or get pregnant by this man, you are stuck in a potentially VERY bad situation with much more difficult decisions to make.  I know you want to be angry with the skid but it took me months to realize that my DH is the one who enables the issues.  If his skid is already this bad, imagine what it'll be like as she gets older, and how it will impact your other children.  The skid is unlikely to get better.  You still have outs.  Good luck to you, I know it's a hard decision if you are deeply in love with this man, but being on the back burner when it comes to skids by the man you love is going to take its toll.  Believe me, I know this all too well.

Give up and have him leave. The only things you're getting out of this are disrespect and anxiety. 

Is this the male role model you want for your own children? Is this how you want a daughter to be treated, or a son to treat his SO? Of course not. But you're showing your own children that this is how adult relationships work.

Either he changes (good luck with that) or he and his miniwife can go live happily ever after without you to be their maid. 

 He lives in my house.. with my kids... his kid comes to my house... eats my food... he pays 2 small bills while i got the rest.. gets me a 20$ cup for mothers day... but makes sure that she GETS what she wants.. 

i dont know what to do..

You know exactly what to do. So do it. And it includes nothing but "GTF out of my house now and don't come back!" to this idiot and his toxic failed family progeny.

Stop showing your kids that you are tolerant of this kind of crap from your mate. Kids do not need that example. They need the example of their mother being confident and purging toxic from her life and their lives.

I would not take a ring from this POS, under any circumstances, if I were you.

You have to care about yourself and your kids more than to saddle you and them with that shallow and polluted gene pool of failed family disfunction.

I agree with what everyone here has said that you need to get this man to move out of YOUR house. He's not contributing and is disrespectful towards you. 

However, I also wanted to comment to say I can relate to your situation. My SD12 is also messy and yesterday I told SO straight - You need to clean up the massive globs of dried toothpaste SD left in sink 2 days ago AND Your daughter needs to start cleaning up after herself when she's here - From leaving massive globs of toothpaste in the sink which then gets dried and stuck on, to never making her bed etc. She's a messy person and it pisses me off. He said these are things that annoy him too, so he does keep reminding her to clean toothpaste out of sink for example to which I replied "At that age she shouldn't have to be reminded to clean up after herself it should be a habit. Especially if she's a guest at someone else's house (her grandma/ SO's mom has also asked her to tidy up the room she's sleeping in, make her bed etc when SD is at her house)

Also is there a reason he won't propose to you? I had a simar situation last year (Year 3 with SO) with SO refusing to propose to due to intense conflict we had 2nd year of our relationship over SD stuff. So we went counseling as I was pissed off as all of last year and end of 2022, I'd been making a conscious effort to be better about the situation, so him tuning round saying things were still bad annoyed me to no end. 

Anyway during 1x counselling session the counsellor straight up said to me "After everything you've said DarkElf you sound unhappy - Do you actually want to marry this man?" And after much reflection I told her (and SO who was also there) "No. I dont think I want to marry him after all I can do better." After that SO realised that if he didn't get his act together I was about to dump him. Not long after that we agreed we would get married and now we're engaged to be married this December. 

In your case however, I would think long and hard about whether you really should marry this man. I wanted to marry SO as in general my situation is good: He listens to me, we communicate well about conflict (once we've cooled down from the argument) and SD is a good skid albeit annoying at times due to being messy and SO mollycoddling her, however for the most part she's polite, makes conversation etc. Plus, I barely have to see her as most of the time he takes her to his moms on the weekends he does have her, so I probs only see her once every 2-3 months thankfully. If I was in your situation though I don't think I'd be so eager to get engaged.

When she interrupts a conversation,  why don't YOU tell her the adults are talking and to wait her turn? You'd be perfectly within your rights to object to a child butting in. If your SO doesn't like that then it's time he started teaching manners. 

Be grateful you're not married to him. A ring won't earn you respect from his daughter nor him. He is a leech and a sponger who is using you for whatever you can give him. His daughter is already bad enough, imagine how awful she'll be when she hits her teens ...

If I were you, I'd cut my losses and tell him to pack his gear and move out. Take your life back. Just think how cool life would be without him and his mini wife. Chalk all this up to experience and move on.

SD is not the problem. It's your SO, who is allowing his DD disrespect you. And your home.  DH either has my back or he's out the door.  Unless you make this known then nothing will change,  SD ,, disengage from her.  She disrespect you. You don't cook, clean. Drive her, go anywhere with her.   This is your life, you live it the way you want.  DH screwed up his first marriage, now he's screwing up his second