Crazy Step Daughter
I have known my DH for approximately 25 years. We have only been married for 4 years. After our marriage, we decided that it would be beneficial to sponsor his daughter who lived in a different country. The sponsorship was made and she came to live with us here in Canada. A month after she arrived, this young lady started acting up. She would come up into my face and call me all the names in the book. When this child was not living in Canada, I made sure that my husband supported her. Anyways, she came here and we gave her everything her heart desired as she didn’t have it before. It has been approximately 4 years and she got mad at us over Christmas because she was planning on fighting a girl, who had been here for her since she arrived in Canada. My DH tried to speak to her and she got mad, slammed her room door and turned up her music. Approximately 2 weeks ago, she told my DH off and moved out. What should we do? I suggest that he sends her back home to live with her biological mother.
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She is 16, almost 17 and she
She is 16, almost 17 and she knows exactly what she is doing. She destroyed her mother's marriage because of the same thing. She could not do it to us. This kid blamed me for everything. to be hinest with you, i really dont care about her anymore. She told me she hated me and that I am dirtunder her feet. She even started abousing my daughter by calling her an alien and that she does not belong. My daughter is a baby. She is only 3.
From your post it sounds
From your post it sounds like she's a Teenager. I'm not condoning her behavior, and I would definitely not tolerate it, but lets look for just a second at her POV.
She's a teenager (I'm guessing) who's world revolves around her friends. Now she's not only moving away from her friends, but to another country at that, and into a home where depending on how much her Dad was involved with her, is basically living with two complete strangers. It's probably also a culture shock to her. So you can imagine that this girl thinks that it's the end of the world.
She's mad, she's hurt, she thinks her life has come to an end and that she'll be miserable forever and she's acting out b/c of it.
I don't know if my guess is accurate or not b/c I'm not sure of the specifics of your situation...but based off your post alone, this is my opinion.
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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
She is a teenager and her
She is a teenager and her dad has always been a big part of her life, he visited her approxmitely 4 times for the year and spend numerous hours on the phone with her. We are not strangers at all. I have know my husband since i was 9 and met his daughter at 2 months. Whenever I went back home, I would take time to spend with her. She had no friends at home and none here in Canada. When she first arrived and started school, I told her that she will have to start making friends. She didn't want to do this. Ever since she arrived, she has been asking to go back home and my DH told her that she cannot go until she finished high school. Are we holding her hostage? Sheould we let her go?
he visited her approxmitely
he visited her approxmitely 4 times for the year and spend numerous hours on the phone with her.
--------------> 4 times a year and phone calls? Yes, you two are complete strangers to this teenage girl, and that is far from being a big part of her life.
Who initiated the first move when your DH and BM divorced or split? Were they living in Canada first and BM moved, or did your DH move to Canada?
How long have DH and BM been divorced/split?
Who's idea was it for SD to come live with you guys, and did you guys talk with SD about how she felt about it first before starting the process?
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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
Please let me clarify this
Please let me clarify this some more.
Visiting a different country 4 times a year is a bonus, especially for the child.
My DH was never married to the BM, they wre just dating when things happened.
We have taken her for vacation to different islands over the 6 years that they have been apart. When ever he visited her, he took her to spend time with him and his family.
In regards to her coming to Canada, her mother and father spoke to her about it and it was indeed her decision to move here. She was happy to move here.
We madee sure that she maintained a relationship with her mother and she vists her tice for the year. she spends summers and christmases with her.
eversince my DH moved to Canada, he continued to support her financially and her mother told her that her father has NEVER supported her at all.