You are here

Difficult Stepdaughter

jeniferjmeyer's picture

I have 3 adult stepchildren and all live out of the area.My youngest SD, is in her 20's, married now and will not stay here when she visits and doesn't come to the house. If she visits us, it is for 30 minutes and the rest of the time it is all with her mother for an entire weekend. I recently redid her resume and worked on it for 3.5 hours. I sent it to her in an e-mail.She asked her dad for help with it and I offered to help him with it. She never thanked me or e-mailed me back. My father-in-law recently died and she never talked to me for the entire 4 days of the funeral. I invited her over and she turned her head away from me. I have always been nice to her. I used to take her to the doctors,buy her back-to school clothes,take her to lunch and she doesn't talk to me.

I am so upset at Christmas and sad. Help.She won't stay here again for Christmas and doesn't talk to me. . .

Comments

frustratedinMA's picture

Wow... I am so sorry. I was hoping they got better w/age.. I guess that is not the case.

What does her dad say about all this??

Hopefully some day she will wake up and realize that you were there for her, and deserve to be treated w/respect and dignity.

jeniferjmeyer's picture

He says that the in our house is him and I and our two cats. He told me to give up on her. He won't talk to her about her poor behavior.No respect at all for me. None. He must be afraid of what she will say.

Oh, my stepson just took over his mother's old christmas tree to my mother-in-laws for her new tree. So, now I look at her old Christmas tree. No thought about me at all.

Angel's picture

rude behavior to me. It is up to your husband to put a stop to it. You should not be treated this way. Your husband should demand her respect toward you --- if she refuses, he should be willing to let her go. GONADS.

kamini's picture

Jen this will not get better. Just like me you are the stepmom which means that we may not be loved or even liked by our stepchildren but the one thing that HAS to be there is RESPECT. So let him know that in your house things that he and his skids do affects you..... whether he likes it or not, you need to be respected.
Kamini

Most Evil's picture

She just sounds like she is on a power trip of some kind, if you can possibly ignore it and just act like you don't even notice, she will probably come around. It sounds like some sort of statement for her new husband, mom and family. I would not spend your time helping her if she cannot even say thank you.

If she ever recovers you can just be as gracious as you always have been.

Most Evil

"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil

need2vent's picture

I don't understand , have you directly asked her what has happened for her to feel this way, nevermind ,if I were in your shoes, I would expect my DH to have that talk.
I wish you could let this go for the holidays and enjot them ,but I know it often reinforces things we are dealing with.
Perhaps from DH statement he knows of past behavior that amkes him not so surprised at this.
"We don't understand life anymore at 40 then at 20, but we know it and admit it" Jules Renard

stepmomof1's picture

Going through the same thing.. Good Luck.. I don't have any words other than I know how you feel and going through.. I too used to love the holidays.. now I dread them.
I do not understand some adult kids can treat their bio-parents and step parents the way they do.. and want us to treat them with respect in return. Young adults have so much to learn. Life is so short.. and what they do.. and what they DON'T do.. is so hurtful. Everyone deserves respect and politeness. Be strong.. Good luck.

Christinejess2002's picture

Hi.. Have an 18 year old stepdaughter who has decided that she hates me... Thinks I'm the biggest "b" who ever walked this earth. Have been with her dad for almost six years,married almost four. I have a daughter, 9, from a prev. relationship who SD is very jealous of. Yesterday, I was in the grocery store close to her home and a couple of teenage girls were behind me in line.. I heard is that SD's stepmom.. Yeah, SD told me she is a real "fin B" so I just paid for my groceries and left. I came home,spoke with her dad and told him that I had had enough of her verbal abuse. I was turning her cell phone off and cancelling her gym membership. He called her and she "f'ed" him up and downabout me. I then proceeded to turn the cell phone and cancelled the membership. He talked to her today and she asked about him having a graduation party and he said he'd think about it. She then told him if I would be there she didn't want it... He told her that wasn't going to happen. He ended the conversationwith her. I asked him to call her back and send me reasons why she feels the way she does about me. He asked what that would accomplish. I said, there has to be some sort of explanation as to why she feels this way about me, you don't just "despise" someone who has never hurt you like this. I don't know what else to do. I feel as if he is hurting so much because she wants to force him to choose.I have 2 other stepchildren, 16 SD and 14 SS, so I don't want this to happen again...