I am the mother to a 20 year old girl, 17 year old boy and a 12 year old girl. I am stepmom to 5 and 7 year old boys. I have been with my now husband for 4 years, married for one. Two weeks before the wedding bio mom calls and tells my husband that he has to take custody of the 5 year old (then 4 y.o) because she cant handle him. I ALMOST put the wedding on hold and should have. this child is constantly up his fathers butt! Demanding, whiney, rude, and highly defiant. As an example, last night we all went to play tennis. First it was the childs turn to play a game with his dad then it was mine. During my game the boy whined, screamed I hate you to his father and and threw rocks on the court. He was rewarded by my husband with another game of tennis!! What?! The other night he was told by his dad that he needed to eat his crackers at the table instead of the couch. His dad went outside for something and the boy immediatly went to the couch again! What did his dad do? NOTHING! I just dont get it. I am tired of seeing this and I am tired of having to deal with the bad effects of his parenting when I have the kid while he is at work. Then I of course have to deal with the guilt I feel for feeling this way. I have NO idea what to do....its like a compitition between me and the boy for his fathers attention. I am about to wave the white flag.