MY BFS SON IS TAKING ALL OF HIS TIME?
MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN PROGRESSING AT A GREAT RATE, AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO COOPERATE WITH HOW HIS SON IS DEVELOPING INTO A LITTLE MAN BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. MY BOYFRIEND IS JUST CONSTANTLY CANCELING OUR PLANS AND CHANGING EVERYTHING AROUND BECAUSE EITHER HIS SON IS COMING OVER ON THE WEEKEND WHEN HIS MOM HAS HIM OR BECAUSE HIS MOM NEEDS TO GO ON A DATE FOR MONEY, AS THAT IS HER CAREER FOR THE TIME BEING. NOW I UNDERSTAND IF IT WAS A REAL JOB AND IF IT WASN;T AN ALL DAY THING WHEN WE HAD NOTHING TO DO BUT WHEN ITS OUR ANNIVERSARY AND WE'VE CANCELED OUR PLANS FOR THE LAST 4 TO 5 WEEKS FOR HIM TO COME OVER DURING A WEEKEND AND HES GRUMPY AS CAN BE ALL THE TIME I JUST CANT DO IT ANYMORE. WE HAD PLANS AND HE DIDNT EVEN THINK TO ASK ME BEFORE HAND JUST KIND OF SPRINGING IT ON ME AND MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY SO I SAY YES IS NOT WHAT I NEED. AND THEN WHEN HIS SON DOES COME OVER HE TENDS TO BE VERY WHINY AND WANT ALOT OF ATTENTION FROM EVERYBODY AND IF HE DOESNT GET HIS WAY HE'LL CRY UNTIL ETERNITY. THE WORST PART IS HES POTTY TRAINING, OR THEY SAY HE IS BUT HE ISNT AND WHENEVER WE TELL HIM IF HE HAS TO GO POTTY TO SAY IT HE DOESNT AND HE ENDS UP PEEING ALL OVER THE CARPET AT MY HOUSE AND THEN WHEN HE CRIES HIS DAD JUST TELLS HIM ITS OKAY BUT I HOLD MY OWN AND TELL HIM NO, ITS NOT OKAY, THATS NASTY AND NOW YOU HAVE A TIMEOUT AND UNTIL YOU LEARN THAT GOING POTTY IN YOUR PANTS IS NASTY YOU HAVE TO BE A BABY AND WHERE A DIAPER. I FEEL HARSH WHEN I SAY IT BUT ALWAYS EXPLAIN TO HIM THE RULES HE HAS TO FOLLOW IN MY HOUSE BEFORE HE COMES IN, SO I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. I'M FEELING LIKE THE BAD PERSON BUT I CAN'T HANDLE DISRESPECT IN MY HOUSE AND ANOTHER WEEKEND WITHOUT ALONE TIME AND CANCELLED PLANS! HOW DO I GET HIS SON TO REALIZE THE RULES AND HOW DO I TELL MY BF I NEED SOME TIME WITH HIM WITHOUT IT COMING OFF RUDE TOWARDS HIS SON?
- jcastle2719's blog
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Comments
Please tell me you're making
Please tell me you're making this crap up.
If not, dump your bf. because there's a whole lot of crazy going on there that you don't need to be inviting into your life.
NOT SPOTS BUT ONE BUTTLOAD OF
NOT SPOTS BUT ONE BUTTLOAD OF A RUN ON SENTENCE THAT HAS GIVEN ME A HUGE FRICKING HEADACHE
Made it through and I'll give
Made it through and I'll give you the summary:
Bm is a whore. Literally, as in she gets paid to fuck guys.
Op's so watches skid when bm has a "date".
Skid pisses on op's rug because he's not potty trained.
So doesn't care about training skid.
I really hope this shit is made up.
So... The boy's mother is an
So... The boy's mother is an escort? Or prostitute?..... Did I read that correctly??
Yeah....I skipped over that
Yeah....I skipped over that part.
Please take off the caps lock
Please take off the caps lock when you respond.
After plowing through your run-on sentence about three times, here is my response.
Your BFs' son is not the problem.
YOUR BF IS THE PROBLEM. Your inability to sufficiently communicate your needs is the problem. The fact they're at your house and not at BFs' house on the weekends is the problem.
Have your BF pay to have your soiled rugs steam cleaned and explain to him all future visits with his son should be at his home. Not yours.
Your BF seems to be a little lost as to how to effectively deal with the BM and set some boundaries. It also sounds like they are either not divorced or have recently split up based on the fact he continually cancels plans with you. He would probably benefit from some parenting classes as he seems a little lost on how to deal with this toddler stage. FYI - don't punish or shame toddlers at this stage. There are a ton of websites on potty training your BF can look up for suggestions and support.
You may have to accept the fact he is not ready for a relationship, but he is looking for someone to help him parent his child. There are a lot of men out there not looking for relationships, but looking for someone to take care of their kids.
Now I realize you're going to start wailing about how wonderful he is, how much you're in love and how amazing things are and the problem is the kid. It's not the kid, a 2-3 year old toddler is not the problem. At this point in the game the issue is a parenting one and it seems like this isn't the right gig for you.
If this child is of potty
If this child is of potty training age, your inclination to shame him for potty training accidents is an inclination toward damaging and abusive treatment.
Here is the deal- this toddler or preschool ages boy is basically a baby, a baby who apparently has a prostitute for a mother and a father who is struggling to parent yet is a appropriately prioritizing his child's well being over his girlfriend or time with his girlfriend. If you marry a decent father you will always be second. Your needs are never going to equal the needs of a child. If you adman to accept this and embrace this, please don't have a relationship with a man who has a child.
It makes me sad to think a little boy in this kind of hardship is being considered "nasty" by a woman who is essentially jealous of the attention and time this child is getting from his father. I hope you are completely honest with your boyfriend, and I hope this relationship ends before you can hurt this child's development with what is simply selfishness,
She literally said the
She literally said the following, like it was a suggestion for what the dad should say:
WHEN HE CRIES HIS DAD JUST TELLS HIM ITS OKAY BUT I HOLD MY OWN AND TELL HIM NO, ITS NOT OKAY, THATS NASTY AND NOW YOU HAVE A TIMEOUT AND UNTIL YOU LEARN THAT GOING POTTY IN YOUR PANTS IS NASTY YOU HAVE TO BE A BABY AND WHERE A DIAPER.
She should dump the dad, because the child doesn't need someone in their life like that.
Your Bf needs to stand up to
Your Bf needs to stand up to Bm and place boundaries, he shouldn't be her on call babysitter-there needs to be structure. If your Bf cannot do that, you're in for a real treat ::::please feel my sarcasm:::::
I'd say with a mess you've described, my very best advice is to jump ship now.
Did I read your blog right? Did you say Bm is a prostitute or are you being sarcastic? hmmmm.
My heart breaks for this
My heart breaks for this little boy....call me a bitch, but I sincerely hope that CPS gets a tip from someone else who also sees a major problem here and intervenes for this poor child.