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I'm done....

iwannagoback's picture

tolerating negative, miserable behavior.

SS17 wakes up/enters house and the first words out of his mouth are always loud complaints. I now cut him off immediately & tell him if its negative/drama/complaints he is not allowed to speak. I am sick & tired of everyone's mornings & afternoons being disrupted by this whirlwind of negativity.

SS5 wakes up/enters house frowning & whining. I now immediately cut him off & instruct him that if he cannot speak in a normal voice/can't stop frowning, whatever it is he is asking for will be denied until he can be pleasant.

I have 2 children of my own, and as I have stated before they are NOT perfect, but based on my experience of parenting them, I know SK's behavior is not NORMAL or at least horrible habitual behavior that no one has bothered to correct (just as noone has bothered to teach SS5 please, thank you or his ABCs!!)

I have never met 2 more unpleasant, unfriendly children in my life.

I came into this situation wanting to love SKs, be a positive role model, merge into 1 happy family... but that dream has turned into a nightmare. DH is a lazy parent, SS17 BM is a lazy, STUPID parent (she didn't bother to take SS17 to dentist for 4 years, lied & said she did, then tooth cracked & truth came out!) SS5 BM is more concerned with feeling she has control over her time with SS5 & trying to pretend DH doesn't exist than in making decisions that are best for him, & allows him to act like a 2 year old so he makes everyone here miserable...

And they are both here 50% of the time, but on different schedules so I hardly ever get a break!!!!! I get 1 3/4 days of freedom from them every other week! NOT ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile my children have been exposed to dysfunction, bad parenting, negativity, etc & have watched me become very bitter. My days here are numbered.... I am working on an exit plan. My children deserve better. I deserve better.

Thanks for the space to vent!


hbell0428's picture

I feel your pain; have SD13 fulltime and it is NON stop! The negative attitude is way up there as well. I know it's normal for the "I hate my life; your so mean; I hate you" blah blah blah. But mine stomps around like a princess demanding things all day; like we should be catering to her. My 3BK are not like this. Well sometimes but I get to tell them to stop it or else. (give them the mom look) they get the poing. I can't help you with the freedom stuff; I have none I have NOT been able to spend anytime with my BK's for about 6 months. I get very frusterated sometimes; it's awful!! We are having a family talk tonight; but they don't help they never do; dad is too lazy to follow through; check up on - you know - parent her..

My suggestion is to "set" time aside for yourself - you need it. I try but....

I wish you luck

ThatGirl's picture

There is no way I'd be able to have skids on an alternating schedule. Anyway you can change that so that you've got them both together? Then you (and your kids) will be able to have a real break in between. In the meantime, see if you can get your husband to help with their behavior problems. I see nothing wrong with sending them to their rooms until they are ready to come out and be pleasant. There's no reason for them to out and about in the common areas of your home with crappy attitudes to ruin everyone else's mood.

iwannagoback's picture

Unfortunately, there is no way to change the schedules. Even if there was, DH is not at all concerned with what **I** think is best for **me** even though I provide free daycare for SS5 & have to tolerate SS17 EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL even when it is not our week cuz BM is zoned for a different school & he has to be bused here EVERY DAY. That is why I shut have to shut SS17 down immediately - I cannot take this negative cloud of BS every day at 4:15.

Sad that when I post on ST, I am just like SKs!!! All I do is complain/bitch/whine!!!

wriggsy's picture

I know exactly what you mean. SDstb14 can wake up/come home in the crappiest mood and it completely ruins the whole day. I find myself wishing that she could sleep all day. I have felt that way about DDstb14 when she behaves that way, too, but normally, she's pretty ok when she gets up in the morning. Not the running, jumping hug first thing in the morning anymore, but I prefer the "Morning Mom" over the sneer in mom's general direction any day!!!