This isnt going anywhere
Good afternoon,
A little background. I have three biological children that live with their mom. BD14, BD10, and BS6 (autisitic). My girlfriend and I live together and she has two biological children from previous relationships. Her oldest son's (SS10) father passed and her youngest son's (SS5) father has visitation. So for the most part its SS10, SS5, her, and myself for the majority of the time. The youngest one has some serious issues that he is going to start going to therapy for next week. He goes out of his way to step on the animals, to bother his older brother on an hourly basis, and lies nonstop. My concern is when my children come over SS6 is nonstop, he will play nice in front of us but about a month ago he left the living room, passed by the bathroom and went into the room with BS6. A moment later BS6 is telling SS5 to stop! We went into the room and SS5 was urinating on BS6. My concern is that this behavior from SS5 is only going to get worst and constantly watching the two is not a realistic and long term solution. BS6 is kind hearted and has fairly severe autisim so explaining to him to kick the shit out of the other kid is not a very good option. SS5 was a terror before all this but it was manageable and only effected plans on occassion. After the incident with my son though now it has become a concern about how the next few decades are going to play out. She understands my concerns but its not being fixed and im not sure what she could do to be honest. Communication between her and I is somewhat garbage and results in arguments versus finding joint solutions. Any help or advice would be much appreciated.
Since your child is autistic and her child is a budding sociopat
Since your child is autistic, and her child is a budding sociopath, it is up to you to protect your child. If you want to give therapy a chance, you need to make sure your child is never alone with hers. If you have animals in the home, they need to stay somewhere else. If therapy helps, things may be ok. If therapy does not help, and the child continues to hurt animals and your child, you need to live separately and date this woman, if you want to continue the relationship.
If you and your girlfriend cannot communicate, have you considered couples therapy?
All of this. Having a woman
All of this. Having a woman is not worth sacrificing your child's well being. (p.s. there are more women you could date, and it doesn't sound like you are compatible)
5yr olds are old enough to know its not ok to urinate
On people on purpose. Even 5 yr olds with speech delays know this. Whats your gf's response to her son peeing on your kid?? Just laugh it off as nothing major?
what happens when your bio kids mum decides she's taking you to court to cut down visitation completely saying your home is not a safe place because your gf kid intentionally pees on your kid and assumedly is taking his pants off to somewhat mark his territory like a dog.
if gf doesn't sort this out now, that kid needs to be elsewhere or end this relationship because this isn't healthy.
She sucks so bad at parenting that her 5yo is pissing on people.
Kick them all out and find a partner that is worth a shit.
smh
He pissed on your special needs child for F sake. A 5yo is more than old enough to recognize that as being unacceptable.
"Communication is ....
"Communication is .... garbage".. tbh.. that is what you should be paying attention to. You should have good communication with your long term partern.. if you don't.. they are not long term partners. I think you should look for a partner that is more compatible.. perhaps without kids that are not meshable with your own.
Don't get me wrong.. you have your own kids and they have their own issues.. certainly, having an autistic child must have it's own difficulties. And.. any partner you have.. well.. they may or may not handle them well. BUT.. your primary responsibility isn't for your own happiness..it's to ensure that the kids you created have safe and loving home environments.. I know you don't have them full time.. but unless you could work it out where your kids are not in the home at the same time.. or you do visitation outside your home? I'm not sure if this is your best match.. esp with the communication breakdowns.