I grew up in a blended family, and it was way different than what I’m experiencing now. I think the big difference is my bio mom disappeared, and my stepbrother’s bio dad disappeared, so we didn’t have the back and forth. But the ex in our situation is very involved. Even that would be ok, if she weren’t nuts.

She feeds the Skids all this crap, making them feel like they have to choose between her and me. Why? I’m not trying to be their mom. I love their dad, it’s a package deal, and I’m trying to do right by them and be good to them. But that’s the extent of it for me. I didn’t have kids of my own for a reason. I’m not pining away for children. He’s my focus. Not them.

The result of her head games is them being subtly crappy to me. They refuse to have anything to do with my family, fake sick or behave horribly anytime a family event comes up for me during our time with them. They feel like it’s disloyal to her, if they have fun with us.

Meanwhile, my blended family has grown really close over the past 30 years, and none of my sibs or parents understand why the Skids won’t come to birthday parties or family events, etc. My family is trying to welcome the Skids as cousins and grandkids, etc., and the Skids aren’t having it.

Who benefits from this? What good can come of it?

I don’t see why the ex would want to do this to the kids. What’s wrong with expanding their circle? Can they have too many friends, too many positive experiences? And how do I get my family to back off? Because they’re literally criticizing me, for not handling this somehow.