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I am Currently One very Happy Step Mom

invisiblestepmom's picture

After years of no mothers day acknowledmeng from the step kids. No thank yous, etc...I get an email from my step daughter asking why I didn't want to do something for them. And what it was was that I did not want to drive my step son to his physical therapy appointment for an injury he did on purpose for attention, sympathy and to get out of footbal practice, well that swift move got him out of the whole season and maybe permanent damage to his shoulder...but he has never treated me with respect and never been made to so I was like why should I keep doing this for him, his parent should. Also after years of BM and DH telling me to butt out it was none of my business they weren't my kids, why should I be at theri bekon call when its inconvenient for them to drive thier son to his appointment...SO I TOLD HER How I felt. How for years I have not felt acknowledge by them as a mother fiugre. I dont get to be called mom when they call thier abusive step dad, DAD..that kind of hurt. Even though I knew it was becasue BM forbid them from calling me mom, they still could have done it at our house without her knowing, at least as an example for my kids who sometiems call me ERIN, my name because thats what thier older siblings call me instead of mom. I told her that for the last 10 years I have offeredn opinions, concerns, parenting suggestions, etc.. to help them grow to be better kids and get through some problmes they have had and still have and been told to BUTT OUT by practically everyone. I have been told over and over by SS "you are not my mom I don't have to listen to you"...I have planned family activites to have them sabbotaged by SS or BM...and my SD...said " FUCK WHAT EVERYONE ELSE SAYS, WE WANT YOU TO BE A MOTHER TO US BECAUSE YOU ARE AN AWESOME MOM TO YOU BOYS AND WE WANT THAT, SOMETIMES WE NEED THAT BECAUSE WHAT YOU SAY MAKES SENSE WHEN WHAT OUR OTHER PARENTS SAY DOESN'T, SOMETIMES WE THINK YOU ARE THE BETTER PARENT AND IT MAKES US MAD THAT YOU DONT ACT ON IT. SO FUCK WHAT EVERYONE ELSES SAYS AND FEEL FREE TO BE OUR MOM" ...I was like wow. I felt so valued by her at that moment, it really means a lot. I also feel kind of like an ass for letting people tell me to butt out and shutting down my feelinds towards the skids because of it but now that I know they want me to be a parent.. GOD DAMN IT I WILL

Comments

Most Evil's picture

Whoa! VALIDATION: PRICELESS-!!!!! Way to go Invis!!!
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think."
Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

misguided's picture

I am happy for you and hope it is what she says but don't let her bs get to you. You have done a lot of stuff for them for 10 years and have been treated like shit. Is this really enough? Keep your guard up.. I am not saying don't embrace it or her but don't let yourself get crushed when next week you are the evil bitch again.

invisiblestepmom's picture

I always keep my guard up, but on the same note I could always tell that this girl had a good head on her shoulders and would wise up, at least wise up to BM.s games. I never expected her to say that out of all of the parents she feels I know whats best for them more than the others. I guess she has secretly looked up to me because of my education and work with children. And she IS the only one who stands up for me. I jus thought it was her sticking up for us females in the house only 2 out 6. So we' will see how things go from now on. I even had a heart to heart with SS and at the moment he seemed understanding but that always changes depending on what he wants or what BM wants at the moment.

invisiblestepmom's picture

Yeah I don't know what itis with SS but he injuries himself every sports season, this time I feel it was on purpose to get out of football camp not even considering the consequence would get him out of football all yer. He originally accidently injured himself at teh end of baseball season and was told to take it easy during football...so at practice he was taking it easy but then outside of practice he would go to the park and play football with frineds with no pads on and this is where he hurt himself. Whether he did it on purpose or not he was told by everyone not to be playing with his shoulder outside of practice and definitely not without pads, so tough luck. I am glad that for the first time in his 15 years of life he got to face a real live consequence for his actions and not listenting to adults in his life. The upside too is that his failing grades from last year are not failing now that there are no sports at the time. Wish SS, BM and DH would get a clue to that and limit his return to sports to one sport because this kid obviously can not handle 3 (baseball, karate and football) and pass his classes. What's more important academics or sports?