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Who does this - What is her problem

imagr8tma's picture

So after the drama of the holiday pick up fiasco. I am wondering why every pair of pants and jeans she (BM) sent sd5 are too dang small.

Who the heck does that? Who sends there kids with clothes that are too small. Not only are they way too short - about 2 inches too short. They are almost too tight as well.

I take pride in what bd wears. They don't have to be name brand, but they dang sure have to fit.

She has told us on several occaisions how she bought new clothes for sd. In the summer - August - she claimed she could not pay for the month of private school and registration fee after she got her child support check. She gets $800 a month. And you still can't pay.

Then sd told us she got new clothing and shoes for christmas. So i went and bought some stuff cause it is just embarrassing.

I would really like to whip her azz. I would never let my kid go out in public like that. Especially to her dads house.

Just a sorry azz.

Comments

Sia's picture

it sucked! I think that they do it just to get under our skin. If I were you, I would got to a thrift store or a consignment store (so you are not spending so much money)and purchase her a few things she can keep at your house. Then just don't return the things that are too small. Instead, take them to the consignment store and sell them (if they are in good condition).

Rags's picture

Not that they did not fit or that they were too cheap but that he (SS) did not need those nice clothes, shoes, etc ........

We never went overboard we just bought the best mid level type stuff we could afford at the time.

They still will comment on his clothes and belongings when on visitation. Most recently his cell phone. I got him the cheapest phone available a couple of years ago and share my plan minutes with him so that it is more convenient for us to get him too and from school, after school events, to and from his friends houses on the weekend, etc .... I did not get him the phone to spoil him, I got him the phone because it was easier on ......... ME!

They grouse at him about how he does not need a phone whenever he is with them. I think the issue is that now that he has a phone they cannot control when he speaks with us when he is on visitation. We call him once or twice a week to check in. We are sensitive to the fact that when he is on visitation it is his time to spend with his Dad and family but we do like to call him occasionally to check in and let him know we miss him. Prior to the cell phone, we could never get hold of him when he was on visitation. During the 5wk summer visitation this would cause a lot of "what if" stress for my wife.

Interestingly, in more than 14 years of our blended family they have called to speak to him less than 10 times.

Regards,

marika's picture

When my SDs were little, BM made it a habit to send all of their clothes with them, but they all needed to be washed. They were crammed into a big garbage bag and they reeked. My guess would be that BM is sending the too little clothes so that you will buy new ones. It is another power play and unfortunately she will win because you are a kind, decent person who wants the poor child to have good clothes that won't embarrass her.

don dahl's picture

My ex also tried this. i found an easy soloution. just buy clothes that will be kept only
at your house.

Razamond's picture

when BM buys clothes for SD(which is hardly ever)they are skin tight and slutty looking (SD 13). She bought her two t shirts and a pair of jeans (at the beginning of winter so you know they were on sale and dirt cheap). Jeans so tight SD can't bend over and t shirts so tight you can see the print of her training bra - I just thought BM was doing her 'slut in training' thing, I never though she might be doing it to piss us off. H never says anything but I told SD she cannot wear those clothes when she goes somewhere with me. H did not get upset over me saying this, he did not make any comment - that just goes to show he does not approve of the 'slut in training' clothes ether. Of course ALL the rest of SDs clothes have been purchased by (guess who) me - so I told her to save the outfit her mother bought her for when she is with BM (The slut trainer).

disgusted's picture

She does that because she wants your household to pay for new clothes for the kids..I have heard of many BM's who do this kinda stuff...Sending their kids to ex's house in crappy, holy, stained up and to small clothes. I guess they think that if the DH and SM are embarrassed to have the children dressed like that they will buy them new clothes.

Just by the kids new clothes and keep them at your house..They go back to BM's in the clothes they came to your house in..

In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities. ~ disgusted

NCMilGal's picture

that BM was squandering the CS check on her Harley and not getting SD shoes or clothes.

Now, since I know darn well that SD (mine at least, I know a lot of yours are little) packs for herself, I'm thinking she "forgets" to pack her (expensive) shampoo, or razors, or hairbands. I also think that she doesn't think to tell her mom that she outgrew her pajamas or that BM is totally ignorant of the fact that athletic shoes have to be replaced fairly frequently if you don't want to hurt yourself. (shoes with no tread are NOT okay just because you bleached them and they don't have any holes in the upper)

I know that I have the knee-jerk reaction to blame BM, but SD is a scatter-brained little flake who isn't held accountable - so we pay for her twit-ness.

~Trish

Most Evil's picture

to say that they 'forgot' sd's suitcase when they went to the airport to send her here. She just sent her in the clothes on her back, for a 2-week visit! She wanted DH to buy Sd everything that she needed, when we already pay so much just to get to lay eyes on the kid! So we buy stuff that stays here too, for just these occasions.

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

imagr8tma's picture

I just refuse to let her walk around in jeans and clothing that is too dang small. I would never let my own daughter (13) do that at all. Hell, this summer - she sent her suitcase empty. AND got mad because he called her and asked her. Accused DH of lying and stealing the clothes.... GOOD one.

Anyways - It was good that this happened after Christmas - I was able to find really nice clothes at some decent prices. Since she had already gotten the child support check and we did a very nice christmas for both kids (sd5 & bd13).

I was just frustrated with seeing my sd in the pants that were so tight - she would probably fall over if she had to run.

Yeah, the clothes will stay here with us. Since she is here every other weekend. She will make good use out of them.

I am thinking of just going and purchasing a few more things - undies, pajamas, teeshirts, pants, shirts, etc.... AND then have DH tell the witch.... Stop sending clothes - we are tired of sd looking like a little homeless kid when she comes here. See how she takes that one.

marika's picture

just make sure you send her home in the same ones she arrived in. Or at the very least, buy an inexpensive set that fits to send her home with. This way, BM loses her power play - SD doesn't have a nice, new wardrobe to bring with her that BM tried to force you to buy.

imagr8tma's picture

intention of sending anything I purchase home with sd. She will return in what she wore when we pick her up.

I will make sure it is washed and clean - but nothing i purchase will go back to North Carolina.