You are here

Well, we will be going to court and fighting for it all

imagr8tma's picture

AND get this..... BM is filing against DH for full custody, taking away visitation and more child support. No surprise on asking for more child support..... it is the normal theme of her bull crap.

ANYways - Recap of the last few months.

March - August 2008 - BM found out DH and I got married and bought a home (after i sold mine).... so she took him to court for more child support - It was denied.

- around this time sd(5) started coming with 8 different medications all for allergies. We met with doc - he said they were not to be given to her - they were discontinued.... they no longer come anymore for visits now.
- bm also started needing more money for (clothes and private school)
- sent sd without clothes since she got upset - or clothing way too small
- bm then enrolled sd in cheerleading thinking DH would not exercise his visits. He let her cheerlead the month of Sept- 2nd week of Oct..... or so we thought until sd started saying she was not going to cheerleading and the BM confirmed by saying it had been cancelled.
- Husband then told her he would be getting her from Oct then on out

Oct - Nov - DH filed to have BM meet him halfway for visitation exchanges and for 6 weeks in the summer for visits. Judge granted this. Except BM has not driven to the meeting point yet, first is was 50 miles short, not she stops 5 miles short of the court ordered location - why - who knows. It saves her time on sundays from driving a total of 7 hours.

- Now all of a sudden she enrolls sd in counseling stating we are abusing her. I mean nasty allegations. Stating i have hit sd (which was a terrible lie), stating sd has nightmares before and after leaving our house, says sd said we try to kill her in her sleep and that she hides clothes to keep from coming to our home.
- SD tells me and DH - she doesn't know why her mommi does not like me, but she had tried to tell her i am nice - she tells us this on several occaisions and that her mom wants her to tell the counselor that.
- We started video taping pick ups and the like after BM refused to meet us for the christmas pickup - So we have on tape that she is not afraid of us. We gave the counselor a copy of this dvd. On it - you even see us give her a christmas gift - yes to the BM...... we are trying to keep some type of peace for sd sake.
- We met with the counselor - and BM made sd cry while husband was talking with counselor upstairs. She did not realize i was downstairs at that time and saw her. She attempted to make counselor think me and DH scared her that bad - BUT the counselor noted in her official notes - how she saw sd interacting with DH and myself and she looked happy and relaxed.

Jan - Now.....

- BM filed an sworn testimony/affidavit with the court - stating the counselor recommended DH has no visits with the child, stated sd is afraid and uncomfortable with us, we leave her in unknown places, and she needs more money and DH to pay for her attorney fees.........
- We have the counselors notes/report - states that child loves father and family here, feels safe and welcome, draws happy pictures of being here at dad house, says she loves dad, and she recommends child continue visits with father. Notes then state the counselor had to repeatedly tell mother - there are no signs of abuse and what she is saying doesn't not add up to the child sessions. They are 180% difference. She also noted how the BM stated she doesn't like to drive to our state for pickups/drop offs. (Which she doesnt anyway - they meet halfway)
- She has now filed to keep dh from getting summer visits - or attempting to.... BUT how is he okay for weekends and not summer... She is stupid.

On top of this over the last 5 years - after he went to court for joint custody and every weekend visits.... SHE

- filed a false protective order that was dismissed
- signed a letter banning him from daycare and school. He had to show joint custody to be reinstated.
- did not answer phone for months
- sent wrong medical information
- would not pick up phone when child broke out from head to toe... incurring a medical bill
-collected welfare and child support and got caught and had to repay
- accused my sil of burning sd - complete lie
- accuses entire family of abusing sd - why i don't understand - these really makes her seem crazy.

AND NOW SHE IS TAKING DH TO COURT FOR CUSTODY AND MORE CHILD SUPPORT.

Good thing about it - she doesn't know we have a lawyer and are ready for her - not with heresay - but with actual documentation of her bullcrap - and the majority of it - she signed her damn self.

I can not wait for May to roll around. Our entire family is going to show up - along with our pictures of visits, and dvd's of visits - spanning back 3 years or more. All of the nasty emails she has sent will be coming and the rude text messages.

We are so damn ready it is not funny. I can only pray the judge gets my precious sd out of this enviornment and orders BM to get some type of help or counseling before she goes to the extreme of injuring sd or worse.

This is sad - but so very necessary.

Comments

imagr8tma's picture

Just reading over what we have been dealing with these past few months and what DH has dealt with seems un-believable.

I am now realizing why sometimes i feel so dang stressed out and not myself. It is cause of this crap she is putting us through. It has been a living nightmare.

We just got an email from her now - about spring break. How is it DH's year, but she wants to take sd to disneyland anyways. So no matter if we have plans or not - she of course wants to take this away as well.

It is getting so tiresome her crap. Seems like DH needs to make a reality television talk show for her..... No one would believe the crap she puts him through..... and all because he wants more time in the summer with his daughter.

He has always paid on time for his child support, never been late and it goes through division of child support enforcement. He doesn't miss his weekends accept for when she requested sd to cheerlead. We go down for graduations, receitals and doctor appointments.... AND this is a 4 1/2 ride for us each way. So i just dont get it.

I am praying this judge will help to put a end to this in May.

Most Evil's picture

I am praying for you to get resolution on this too. That is great you are so prepared. What is wrong with this woman???!!!

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

imagr8tma's picture

I saw some of these things before i got married. But they were not done towards me or my bd(13). Ever since we got married it seems like things have gone down hill drastically.

I am beginning to think it has more to it than just her being angry with DH or me.

I am thinking she has some type of mental illness or some sort. I hope the judge does order her to have an evaluation.

Maybe medication will help her. That way she will not put her daughter through these things anymore.

It seems like if something is not done - she will explode and something drastic will happen because of her - and that is not fair to my sd who is innocent in all of this.

squeegie_beckenheimer's picture

I feel so bad for you. And I thought I had it rough! Your BM problems are beyond awful. I hope you guys take that little girl away from that nutcase!!!! It sounds like she belongs with you & your husband because BM is unstable.

My situation is fairly similar. (Read my past blogs & posts) I think the only things different are that BM hasn't accused us of any abuse (yet) & that she hasn't asked for child support (we have 50/50 custody). BM makes up lies about things we're supposedly doing all the time. She writes random emails accusing us of doing things that we have no clue about almost on a regular basis, which ironically, are usually things that SHE is doing. She even flat out lied in the affidavit she wrote when she was trying to get full custody of SD8 (which was DENIED!). I honestly am starting to think that BM needs counseling/medication. She's completely unbalanced & irrational.

My husband & I are planning on buying a house this year & I'm afraid of what BM will do next. She did not take our marriage well, so buying a house is probably going to set off another round of insanity.

What is wrong with these women?!! Why can't they get a life & move on?!

BridgingTheGap's picture

You sound like you're more than ready to take her on. Any judge should be able to see that she's just plain crazy. I wish you and DH the best. You've been through so much and its about time you get a break from her nonsense.

stepmasochist's picture

Please tell me you and DH are trying to get custody of SD with BM having the EOW visitation. The woman is toxic nutjob!!!!

imagr8tma's picture

DH was originally only trying to extend summer visits from 4 to 6 weeks.

Now with finding out this information and with the stuff from the past. We are going for sole custody, requesting supervised visits in our state, a psychiatric evaluation for BM, and every other weekend.

I almost wish there was a way to give SD a break from BM for a while. She told DH she wanted to stay with us for a while and that things are mean at BM's house.

It hurts knowing every other week she has to go back to NC. I know BM is making her feel bad for enjoying being here, I think BM probably drills her on what she did - and then talks about us and tries to brainwash SD.

Hopefully, in May, SD will get some relief. (In turn DH and I will too.)

I am praying hard the judge has a heart on that day.........

imagr8tma's picture

She went for an increase in 2007 - denied. Went for an increase in November 2008 - denied. Now she is trying it again in May - hopefully it will be denied as well. She should be getting less money when you run the NC calculator.

She claims there is a big differnce income for DH. There is not. He got a 2.5% increase.

She however got a large one due to her years teaching and being certified. So i guess she is assuming he did.

So once again - she will look like a fool. It gets so tiresome.