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HELLO CPS.......

I.hate.cats's picture

About a month ago SS14 was bitching to a teacher about how his dad whooped him. This was during this change of meds stage and the investigator took it for what it was after talking to BS13 and SD12. With all of the problems that we've been having with BM#2 regarding SD6, we've been contemplating contacting CPS over that situation. Well last night we get a voicemail from the CPS investigator saying he just wanted to stop by and close out the case. I guess we sort of saw it as a sign because we decided to tell him our concerns about SD6 and the lack of proper care at BMs.

BM hasn't taken SD6 to the doctor for a physical since 2013, she's never been to the dentist and her emotional and behavioral problems have gone addressed as well. I have eight months worth of emails from SD's teacher that detail her behavioral problems, I have the medical records for when BM took her in to try to get ADHD meds for her. She lied about DH having ADHD in hopes of making a stronger case to the doctor. She was referred for counseling but BM took her to two appointments then stopped. I have the paperwork showing the she isn't signed up for summer school, dated three weeks after the enrollment deadline and the email from her teacher that says she help because she's behind. I took her a physical yesterday and even that doctor said she would recommend counseling, so we met with the counselor briefly and set up an appointment in two weeks. She's also signed SD6 up for daycare at the center where she works, despite the numerous problems that she's had there. I'm hoping DH will be able to get a copy of her records from there as well.

I also have the email that DH sent BM asking about these things; When did you sign her up for summer school, how are you handling SD6's behavioral and emotional problems, why did you sign her up for the daycare when she's had so many problems there? BM's response of I don't have to tell you anything, it's none of your business and I feel it is an intrusion into my personal life. Obviously the hag is delusional and I'm really hoping that something positive comes from bringing these issues to the attention of CPS instead of them just telling her she needs to fix it and it works against us in court because the judge says she's changed.
SD6's hair was braided when I picked her up for her doctor's appointment. That was the first time in the 2 1/2 years that I've known her that BM has done anything with her hair! Now she wants to put on the MOTY show?! Come on, man!

Gotta pick SD6 up soon, she has a half day today and will be here when the CPS man shows. And there's a TON of straightening up to do before 5. Wish me luck, ladies!

Comments

AllySkoo's picture

I wouldn't get your hopes up for CPS intervention. I get why you'd bring it up, it's the pattern of behavior that's worrying, but nothing in what you've posted actually falls into "actionable neglect" from what I can see.

Does your DH have joint legal? If so, HE needs to take her to a physical and to the dentist. Sucks that BM won't, but better that SD gets seen, you know? As for the daycare, I'd let that go. Obviously she signed SD up for that particular daycare because she works there. The school issue and the behavior and emotional issues are more complex, obviously. Can your DH take SD to see a Behavioral Therapist on his own? Or does he need BM's permission?

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I have to echo some of the same warnings as other posters. Don't expect much from CPS. Our BM had her house condemned in January. It was so bad that the CPS worker got sick when she went into the home. They made her leave the house, but she still has custody of her kids. Our SDs have missed over 40 days of school this year. Truancy has been in contact with us and BM. Obviously, we live in a different state so they understand that it is BM that is causing the issue. Will there be consequences? Probably not. We are fighting her for custody and we won the first round. SD11 started throwing violent fits and the state decided the best thing to do was give her back to BM! We are waiting to go to trial for custody in June. Our lawyers say that our chances of getting the kids are not great. And to make it all so much worse, CPS helped BM get a grant from the state to help buy her a house big enough for all her kids!

CPS will not take a kid away from the other parent until something dire happens. I really wouldn't get your hopes up.

I.hate.cats's picture

We have taken her to the doctor for her physical and the last two times she's had a sinus infection that BM blew off as 'allergies' despite the teacher's complaints. Then she didn't even bother to give her the antibiotics. Our intentions are definitely not revenge or spite, SD6 has been diagnosed by a psychotherapist as having ODD and having her one day during the week doesn't enabled us to take her in for the therapy that she needs. I've called four different offices and with her insurance, our options are limited as it is. She's not just a little disruptive, she's all out defiant, refuses to listen to the teacher, yells, stomps her feet runs around the class, stands on tables, threatens other kids, etc. She spent three weeks pretending to have headaches to get out of school, this charade even included trips to the ER.

She's almost seven; can't read and has trouble writing. She's sending her to this daycare because it's convenient, not because it's good for her. She's developed many of these problems being there and even after she was there for just a week over winter break the teacher mentioned the terrible behavior changes once she came back to school. We've already got the court paperwork to file for placement and have been gathering records but that's the long battle.

BM also takes ADHD meds, as does her half brother and there have been instances where we're concerned that some of her meds may have found their way into SD6'S cereal, yogurt, etc. I know that there's a chance that CPS will do nothing and we'll just be dealing with this in court but this was DH'S call, not mine. BM has left her with her ex husband's mother while she's gone out, he showed up and punched his mother in the face. She told SD not to tell us about it and continued to send SD6 there even after that, she'd just lie about it.

I've dealt with CPS before and know that fending off false accusations are a special kind of hell but in this case SD6 isn't getting the psychological treatment she needs and as anyone with a nightmare skid knows it's fixable at 6, not so much at 16. Even after just 5 days at BM'S she's very difficult to deal with.

I.hate.cats's picture

And DH did sign her up for summer school, BM says he can't have SD over the summer so that she can attend it. BM also continues to insist that she's signed up in her district even though as of yesterday we confirmed with her teacher that she isn't.

We also made her a dentist appointment BM won't allow him to take her if it's not hus day.