Even though I built the case for DH, getting stuck going it alone and with a court commissioner instead of a judge really seems to have negatively impacted him.

Wednesday was SD13's birthday, DH did nothing - at all - then decided to go pick up SD6 at 7:30 after ordering all of the kids to move furniture while he argued via text w BM. I bought her a new dress and a little lock box, though it's all I could afford since DH lost his job. The stress of dealing with BM, court, seeing how poorly she was parenting SD6, it all just became too much for him.

I've landed a new job after not working for the last year - at his insistence. He hasn't done anything to help unpack or fix things around the house and I can only do so much by myself. I think of his 2 as my own, as their BM has been out of the picture since they were babies. I have BS14 to look after as well, but I've decided that SD6 was no longer my responsibility. She came over coughing, worse than usual, DH took too much of his anti anxiety medication and was useless for the entire day and I didn't bother taking her to urgent care. BM won't give her the meds anyway and if DH can't keep it together long enough to look after her needs, I'll be damned if I'm going to.

I hooked up the washer and fixed the leak, cut and dyed both of the boys hair, got more of our bedroom unpacked, helped BS14 with his English homework, helped SD13 finish her room and even made sure SD6 had her homework done. DH managed to hook up the dryer - only after I packed everything into my truck to take it to the laundromat, but that was it! Two days of nothing but sleeping, walking around talking nonsense, I mean he was here but, not HERE.

He's taking antidepressants and so am I, though we're on different meds, and he takes all of his anti anxiety meds within a week, I take mine as needed and have actually resorted to hiding mine-in four different places, so that he can't take them. I can see that he's depressed and I understand but I don't want a husband that's essentially another child to look after. I know my disappointment in him and frustration hurts him but I can't help but feel resentful, that I shouldn't be going this alone and feel that I am. The kids are helpful and pick up the slack but I worry about the effects this will have on our relationship, especially if it continues. I know I'll become resentful, that it will continue to take its toll on me. I don't want to be selfish, I hate that he's hurting but we seem to be at odds so often these past few weeks and even the little things he used to do out of love, courtesy, just to see me smile have become non existent and instead I find he's eaten the last of my candy, taken longer trips out of the house, etc.

We've been through so much in just a few short years yet I can't help but wonder how much adversity any couple can withstand....