Thanks, Rags and I love your nicknames by the way! }:) We're pretty sure that the hag is going to be completely blown away by all of the documentation since according to her and her douche boyfriend, she's a great mother and all of the things that we've alleged are lies. The craziest part about all of this is she seriously seems to believe her own BS! I learned with my son's father that the best way to really nail someone is to let all of the lies come out first, this way when you confront them with fact, they've already dug themselves a nice hole. That's exactly how we plan to deal with the hag on issues like summer school, ask what summer school she'll be attending, she was registered and how she'll be getting from school to daycare. This way when she busts out with the same line of crap she's been giving us, we can submit the documents that show she was never registered and ask follow up questions like 'Would it surprise you to know that per the director of the daycare, transportation is not provided to summer school?' I wish that I could do all of the interviewing! LOL.

The only thing that we're concerned with, since we won't have an attorney, is what to do if the judge says I can't be part of the proceedings outside of testifying. I call DH my Lamb because he's so sweet and sometimes naive despite the fact that based on appearances alone he looks like he's done some serious prison time because of the tattoos. I told him we'll get him some make up to cover them so that we don't lose before we ever present a case. In all honesty, we're hoping for even a temporary placement order for the summer so that we can show the judge that SD6 has improved while being in our care. Even DH has started to notice how she's made positive changes; we were in the store over the weekend and she started to throw one of her tantrums but caught herself, stopped and was even okay leaving the store without having gotten anything. Six months ago there's no way that would have gone down like that.

I use the word custody because the state that I'm originally from doesn't have the term placement, but that's what the motion is "motion to modify physical placement" i.e. the amount of time that SD spends at our house vs. BM's. The CO is for joint custody, which we're not challenging and it says DH gets SD one night a week and EOW, so 6 nights a month. Over the last four months, SD has been here 13-19 nights per month, including several of BM's weekends because she "had plans" and we have documentation that shows BM has left her with caregivers the an additional 5-8 nights per month. I just listed a few of the things briefly but we've got pages upon pages of paperwork from doctors, psychologist and her teacher all stating there is a significant problem, both psychologically, physically and educationally, none of which BM has addressed.

We did go ahead and file the motion and got a court date in September, which is super frustrating, since SD will miss out on summer school after struggling terribly throughout the school year. The state regulations here take things such as the child's adjustment to school, their developmental and educational needs into consideration as well the availability of private vs. public child care, the amount of time each parent has spent with the child and whether the mental or physical health of a party, minor child, or other person living in a proposed custodial household negatively affects the child’s intellectual, physical, or emotional well-being. In addition to BM's own struggles with mental health issues such as bipolar and ADHD, her BS has had significant behavioral problems which have impacted SD6. Not to mention the in and out boyfriends BM has had, the latest of which has threatened DH (we have proof of this as well) and has this crazy obsession with guns-though we didn't bother mentioning the last part in the motion.

I am terrified that we're going to lose in court, not based on the facts, but given the way that the system works. We have a psychologist appointment set up for SD next week which I am taking her to. I'm not sure how a judge is going to look at our situation because I'm a stay at home wife/mom and DH works full time so I do end up doing many of the things that aren't being done, only we've given BM every opportunity to do it before we took it upon ourselves. A big part of what we're pushing in court is the fact that residing primarily with BM is detrimental to SD6's physical and psychological health. Not taking her to the doctor or dentist is a small part of it, the meat of the case is the sleep deprivation which we have documented by both the school and her pediatrician combined with some seriously aggressive, defiant and violent behavior from SD6 in the community. Do you think the judge will frown on the fact that I'm the one taking SD to school and to the doctor since DH is working and the closest BM will come to it is lying and saying that she has/will.

BM works at the damn daycare that she's had SD6 attending and although all but three pages of records "disappeared" from her file, the ones we have show that she's not only kicking and hitting the other kids, but she's done so to the teacher as well, climbing on furniture, etc. I know this sounds like an extreme toddler but she's 6 1/2 and this behavior continued throughout the school year and has negatively impacted her ability to learn, as she's been continually behind the other kids and has had to be pulled out for intervention. At nearly 7 she can barely read and BM hasn't addressed any of this despite the months of emails from her teacher documenting her behavior and learning problems.

Honestly, up until five months ago, I would DREAD SD6 day. We would have her Wednesday and by Tuesday morning I was already stressed out at the fact that she'd be coming over the following day. I hated the weekends we would have her because she was downright rude, disrespectful and even our other kids hated when she'd come over. When BM's schedule changed and SD6 had to start getting up at 5 a.m. I started feeling bad for her and agreed to take her an additional night during the week. I went to the library and started reading books on dealing with bratty kids, lol. I'm not a first time parent, my BS will be 14 in a few weeks and DH has two other kids that we have full time, but it's definitely a different story when it's not your kid and you're not the only influence. Anyway, I tried to be a little more patient and spent more and more time with SD6, who slowly went from an entitled little brat to a sweet kid who I enjoyed spending time with. Even my mother who has shied away from SD6 despite taking on a fullblown grandma role with DH's other kids commented about how well behaved SD6 has become. Her report card shows she's made big gains over the last three months and that was also reflected on her test scores. All that we're really asking is that the judge alter the placement schedule to where BM has SD one to two nights a week provided she gets ample sleep and can get her to school and that they implement a right of first refusal clause, as someone on here suggested.

BM isn't going to step up and be a parent, I'm just hoping that this judge doesn't hold it against us that I've stepped up and done so while SD is here. :/