I'm the SM to SD16 and SD stb 11 me and FH have been living together for almost 3yrs. SD16 is not his bio child but he raised her from 1yr old. I have never met BM and and only saw her for the first time this May. They were together for 7yrs, I have met alot of their friends and between them and FH have never heard anything nice about her. She also treats FH like shit etc. I just lost my mother in march and his mother has severe health problems and was in the hospital for a week in july. I suggest we go visit her a 16hr drive one way,the last time we saw her was Nov 07. FH got upset with me cause I said if I had of seen her in the yard when we pulled up I wouldn't have gotten out of the car. He said I was looking for drama and he wants us to get along. My issue is BM (as I said is not a very nice person she seems bi polar or maybe just a miserable person) how the hell am I going to get along with someone that is so miserable. He gets along with her by doing what she says. She makes demands when they're with us almost like she thinks he's a bad parent and not responsible enough to take care of his kids, but that can't be because she's tried to give them to us twice already and after the first time she asked she told him that when he was ready for them she might not want to give them to him(controling B). I am not the turn the other cheek type of person I would never ever deal with someone like her. I thought staying away from her would keep any drama down but not in his book. I feel like if she ever did do anything directly to me he wouldn't have my back it would be my fault. I'm having a hard time wanting to stay I don't see this situation getting any better she'll jump he asks how high. I feel like she controls him which then controls our relationship which in turn controls me. This is my first SM expierence and I would never do it again with a man who left his balls with the BM. I've been lurking for months this is my first post.