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Not really step related but I really need to vent.

IAmALady77's picture

Let me just say right now that I am very proud of anyone that can make it in the custemer service/food/beverage industry for any extended period of time. I am clearly not cut out for such a posistion.

I have worked at this little country family bar/party store for almost 3 years now. My SO is my "manager" per se...not really hes just worked there longer. And my FMIL is my boss. Its pretty nice, not stressful, we know where to seperate family and business but we always stand up for our own or so I thought.
I work in the store 5 days a week and bartend maybe once a week or I pull doubles sometimes store AND bartend for 12 and a half hours. I like my job, I like my regulars, its pretty straghtforward stuff. HOWEVER I am NOT a kissass, I am there to ring up your purchases and make you drinks, I am not there to argue politics and religion and listen to all your damn complaints.

And that is what they do. I swear the patrons at this bar are absolutely unbeleivable in their behavior. Last night, SO was running a little late and I was already working in the store so I went to the bar side to cash in his till and wait on customers for him until he got there.
AND I was in a prett good mood yesterday. SO Im standing behind the bar and a regular customer starts talking about drunk driving laws and how riduculous they are because then they can entrap you for other things blahblahbalh...I said well you should only have a problem with the police if your doing something wrong so just follow the law and your good. And this bitch chimes in well you would be out of business if we didnt drink adn drive. And I said noooo, it is quite simple to drink in moderation or appoint a DD before a night of partying. She proceeded to yell at me "oh and I bet at the RIPE age of 22 you've never gotton behind the wheel of a car while drunk"...well thank you for implying that due to my age I am a moron but no i have NEVER drank then drove. Fine whatever, I ignored her.

Then the regular started talking about preventative law and how would you prevent sex crimes from happening? HE ASKED THIS TO ME. ALL I SAID was "well, idk, maybe more education....." DIDNT EVEN GET TO FINISH MY SENTANCE before this bitch jumps down my throat "REALLY I WAS 7 WHEN I WAS RAPED ARE YOU SAYING I NEED MORE EDUCATION?????!!!!!" She was freaking out and I wasnt even talking to her!
I calmly told her she needed to stop yelling as I wasnt even talking to her and I didnt mean to offend her in anyway I wasnt even finished with my sentance, all the while she keeps screaming at me that Im just an ignorant little girl and a bitch and I can just walk away if I dont like her opinions.

OK. This is where I went wrong, I know. I should have walked away at this point. But you do not sit there and verbally assault me at my work when I have done nothing to instigate the situation. SO I told her "YOU are more than welcome to finish your drink and leave since I dont have the luxury of walking away as I am at work." When she says "well you can just get your ass back in the store where you belong little girl"....wow.

I told her she was a fucking bar slut and ccould go suck a dick and she had no right to speak
to me that way, this is not HER bar, she does not own the place, she does not get to treat staff like shit just because.

She called my FMIL lol. Which I would like to point out is assinine because FMIL doesnt even work there, she just owns the building. If you go to any other establishment, one you would not berate and treat the staff like shit, and 2 if you have a problem with said staff you would ask to speak to a manager...not directly think you have the power to call the owner and complain about every little thing. So FMIL calls SO and as a long talk with him about all the complaints shes gotton and I need an "attitude adjustment" and shes not going to fire me but I should prolly start looking for another job.

fuck that. Im not going anywhere. I texted her this morning and said I was sorry and I will adjust my "attitude" but she knows damn well that those people are snivling little shits and will find a way to complain no matter how nice I am to them. She texted me back insisting that she needed to talk to me today....not looking forward to that conversation.

Anyway thanks for reading, I really needed to get that out.

Also I would like to add that the "bitch" is also a regular, and really a barslut...so it wasnt just some random if that makes any difference lol

Comments

3littlemonkeys's picture

OMG.
You said FMIL is your boss. If you start costing her customers, she will fire you, if, as you say, you guys separate business and family.

You ARE young and appear to have quite a chip on your shoulder.

You should perhaps think about YOUR contribution to the situation, regardless of what the customers say.
ETA: A true lady does not allow others' actions to dictate hers.

IAmALady77's picture

I know Im young but I wouldnt say I have a chip on my shoulder, Im not naive, I knew what I was getting in to when I started working there so I'm not entirely sure what you mean by that comment?

And Im not costing her customers, we're the only bar in a 20 mile radious, this is a little podunk bar in the middle of nowhere lol. And our regulars are the type to complain if we fire anyone or if we hire someone new that they dont know, any little change in "their" bar they all start hollerin that their not coming back blahblahblah, they always do. Barslut from last night screamed she was never coming back too...just went down there to get some smokes and guess whos sitting high and mighty right at the bar? yup lol.

Ive been wanting to quit for a while because I take to personally some things and cant handle the drunkness on a day to day basis, I know what I said to her was wrong but I think we're all entitled to snap at least once.

twopines's picture

Cursing at a customer, any customer, is usually grounds for dismissal. If you truly were not there to argue, and know how these people are, then why on earth did you speak this way?

IAmALady77's picture

I actually quit today after a long time coming. FMIL wasnt mad or anything she suggested I find another job for my benefit not hers. we had a long talk today, and this was the first time i have ever snapped at a customer. I obviously know what I said was wrong but I needed to stand up for myself so thank you. And to other posters, I know what I did was wrong and would be immediate grounds for dismissal at any other place but these people are out of control and trust me this woman deserved to get snapped at. I am actually relieved now because I don't have to dread going to work every day to put a smile on my face for drunk assholes that purposely treat me like shit. I say good riddance and Im glad for this situation now Smile

Disneyfan's picture

LOLOLOLOL

You have a lot to learn.

Just because she spoke to you in a nice, calm manner doesn't mean she wasn't livid.

Just because she allowed you to quit doesn't mean she wasn't going to fire you.

Her goal was to get you out of her place of business without causing a riff in the family. Showing her anger and firing may have caused issue between her and her son. Much easier to play the nice card and let you think you left on your own terms. Wink

3littlemonkeys's picture

^^THIS.

And OP, oh so much to learn.
The best way to get people to do what you want is to make them think that's what THEY want. Smile

IAmALady77's picture

lol OK. Im not even going to argue with this one because you don't know our relationship. Or her relationship with SO. Im done with this topic, I feel great, my relationship with FMIL and SO is great, I am releived and happy and things couldnt be better! SO thanks for letting me vent and yet still implying that Im a little girl that knows nothing about anything Smile

I wonder, at exactly what age does the whole "you're young therefore need to learn the ways of the world" argument lose its valididty? Just wondering, because the condescension was fine when I was 18 but at almost 23 I think I qualify as an adult now Smile But ok, Ill come back and vent in a couple decades when Im old enough to keep up with everyone. toodles for now Smile

IAmALady77's picture

^ to give you a clue on how you are wrong, my FMIL and BOSS, the owner of the bar has been in several verbal arguments and has had to be carried out of her own bar because she actually physically tries to fight with people that want to try to put her in her place not knowing she is the owner. so no LOL I am DEFINIETLY not costing her business Smile

bi's picture

what difference does that make? do you think a customer is going to respond better to being hit by the owner than mouthed off to by an employee? i wouldn't be spending another dime in a place where the owner hit me. you make no sense. your argument is invalid.

3littlemonkeys's picture

Lovely. Sounds like trash. I suppose your comments fit right in, then.

In answer to your question, people will start ti VIEW you as an "adult" when you start ACTING like one.

Used to drive me nuts, being "young," because I was always the youngest in my circles. I married as a teen and had three kids and a F/T skid by 25. BELIEVE ME, I got looks and comments.

But you know what? I was responsible, self supporting, and didn't act like trash...so the comments didn't last very long at all.

Disneyfan's picture

If you still have a job tomorrow, your MIL is an idiot. You will cost her big $$$ because you don't know when to keep your mouth closed.

DeeDeeTX's picture

Why even bother getting into arguments at work?

Rude customer, " Blah blah blah...."

You: "well, that's an interesting way to look at things. Thank you for shopping with us today!"

For someone not looking for a fight you sure take the bait.

IAmALady77's picture

Also did anyone even read what I wrote? I am a generally calm person and I handled the situation pretty professionally. I ignored her when she first started in on my age and ignorance ectect. I retaliated after a good half hour of her SCREAMING at me, being verbally abusive calling me names. That is innappropriate. I told her she could leave. If we were a bar in the city that employed security or bouncers she would have been removed from the premises immediately. Unfortunately we are a small country bar in the middle of nowhere and I was the only employee there, and no where in my job description does it say I have to stand there and take verbal abuse from a drunk obnoxious customer and not defend myself. I didnt cost my boss any money this was the first time I ever retaliated and I have already found a new posistion elsewhere.

I actually think its pretty funny now because if anyone has ever been a part of a small town dynamic then you know exactly the type of people Im talking about. whatever, I just needed to vent abou tmy shitty day at work, I could have been super immature and just punched her in the face. Overall, I think I handled it pretty well and Im just glad after 2 weeks Ill never have to go in there again unless I want to, and then I can say whatever I damn well please to whoever wants to get in my face.

forestfairy's picture

I do have to say if any customer screamed at a bartender like that in any of the bars I go to, they would be 86'd forever. Of course, I live in a city where there are thousands of other customers, so bartenders never kiss the butts of asshole patrons to keep customers.

Small town bars definitely have good and bad qualities...the bad is they tend to have the same drunks sitting in them day after day who think they own the joint. I worked at a small town restaurant/bar (only one within 20 miles) and we had the same kind of folks in there. Small town bar = small town drama.

Hope you find something more suited to you.

Rags's picture

Does 5 years count? I managed restaurants/bars for 5 years and owned part of the restaurant holding company for 10yrs total.

I completely understand your challenges.

I had several noteworthy idiot customers during my restauranteur tenure.

Most notable were three.

1) A customer had several drinks and ran a tab. When he was leaving the hostess rang him up in error and added each of his subtotals together and over charged him by about $20. I was called to the register to deal with the agitated customer. The guy was about 5ft nothin and reached across the register and started poking me in the chest. I proceeded to take his money, close his tab all while he continued to rant and poke me in the chest. Once I had his money and returned his change I reached across the register and took his jacket lapel in both hands, pulled it tight around his chest pinning his arms to his side and pulled him up over the cash register and put my nose on his and while head butting him in the eyes and nose with my forehead told him in a stern but calm voice that I could not take any time off of work at that moment but that once he got out of jail that I would happily meet him in the parking lot after work. I then instructed the hostess to call security while the short little POS kicked and flopped on top of the register/counter. He was cuffed and hauled of to the mall offices to await the police. HE worked in the mall so I did see him periodically after that.

2) I had an older couple who had come in for lunch. The waitress had failed to give them the Sr. discount. At checkout the old dude was ranting at the hostess that we were ripping off Sr. citizens and that his son worked for the BBB and that he would have his son investigate us. Again I had to go to the register to deal with an irrate customer. He kept escalating his rant the whole time I was dealing with him. Finally I comp't his meal, handed him one of my business cards and invited him to give my information to his son. I then told him that he was welcome back but that if he ever again behaved in a manner that disrupted my other customers that he would not be welcome in my restaurant. His son came in with my card about a week later and appologized for his dad. They ended up being regular customers.

3) A family came in to the restaurant late one evening. A husband, wife and mid teen boy. They ordered. When their food arrived the woman went on a tirade about being able to get her dish at Wendy's, blah, blah, blah. She had wanted a Gyro with no lamb, only beef. Our Gyro meat was ground lamb, beef and seasonings. The waitress had explained to her that we could not remove the lamb from the Gyro but that we cold make her the same dish with beef and that she could season it to her tastes using the spice basket that was on each table. She took the waitress's suggestion and later blew a gasket. The waitress handled it very well but I eventually had to intervene. I tried to calm the woman down but she just kept escalating the drama. The husband and son had just kept eating and ignoring the whole situation. Finally I turned to the man and said "Sir, you and the young man are welcome to stay but I am going to have the lady removed from my restaurant". Without missing a bite he reached up and grabbed his wife's shirt collar from behind and pulled her firmly in to her seat and said "Shut up and eat!". She just crumpled in to tears. The kid never said a word and just kept eating. I spent another hour delivering samples of just about all of our menu items to their table for her and them to sample until she finally found something she liked. By then she was stuffed but thanked me and said that she would be back. She ended up being one of my best and most regular customers and would bring her mother, sisters, church lady group, etc.... frequently. Every time they came in as a family she would tease me about being a PITA and her husband and son would just groan.

I had far more awesome experiences in the restaurant/bar business than unpleasant ones. But these three are the most notable customer difficulties that I had. The ladies from the Foley's Dillard's and Scarborough's make up counters. Those were some crazy, good looking and very forward women. They used to give me a ton of crap and teasing. They were great customers. The Coffee Bunch was another group of women who were great customers. Sr. citizen ladies who used to come in a couple of mid mornings a week to drink coffee and play cards. They kept setting me up with their grand daughters.

My customers never caused me nearly as much trouble as my employees.

The worst employee experience was when a young man came to my office shortly after I unlocked for the prep crew and said "I have been here a year I want a raise." I asked him what he was doing for me that I had not hired him to do in the first place. He said he comes to work on time and never misses. I told him that attendence was a condition of employement and not stepping up. I suggested that he go put some thought in to what additional duties he had taken on that would warrant a raise and to come back and we could talk about it. I told him that I was not against a raise and that we would work something out. About an hour later I heard a blood curdling scream from the kitchen. I ran downstairs from the office and found him writhing on the floor of the kitchen with his pants down around his ankles, his hands to his crotch and fiery red blotches all over his legs and thighs. He was pissed off that I had not immediately given him a raise and to get back at me he had climbed up on to the counter, dropped trou and pee'd in the fryer. His mistake was that the frier was hot. I fired him then called 911 for the police and for an ambulance. When they were hauling him off hand cuffed to a gourney they asked who to send the bill to. I told them that he would be responsible for his bill since he was not an employee. When he filed a work comp claim I counter sued him for lost revenue, labor and material costs for the severak hours I had to open late that day to drain, sanitize and replace the oil in the friers. He dropped his work comp claim and ended up stick with a ~$10K emergency services bill.

There are many more stories but these are the ones that come most readily to mind.