My DH has 4 adult children who live about 4 or 5 hours away from us. He and I have been married just over a year. All is well. For the past couple of years, we had his kids come up for Thanksgiving and we spent Christmas with my family. This year we decided to spend Thanksgiving with my family and have his kids up for Christmas. It looked like it would work out perfectly when we went to visit them in May and they told us that their mother (and her husband) were planning on spending Christmas with her family and that they did not want to go. Their dad said, "well, we would like for you to come and spend Christmas with us." They asked about Thanksgiving and he told them, "no, it wouldn't be right for you to spend both holidays with us and not to spend at least one of them with your mom." And so the drama began... Their mom sent my DH a nasty email back in May. He didn't respond and that was the last we heard about it until this month. She has begun a campaign to try to pull everyone into her drama. She is making her kids (grown up but still her kids) feel guilty about "leaving" her at Christmas. She put on Facebook that she "probably won't celebrate Christmas at all this year...". Last week his son called to ask why everyone is upset about Christmas. DH told him, "the only one who is upset about Christmas is your mom and that is between you and her." Today, his daughter called to ask him if there is any reason that her mom (and stepdad - both of whom I've never met) couldn't come to our home for Christmas. He was like, "Um...yeah...we're divorced! There's a reason we're divorced. And it is so disrespectful to 'i got a good one' to even ask such a thing!" I appreciate my husband and I really feel for his kids. It sucks to have your mom make you feel guilty for spending Christmas with your dad. At the end of the day, this is all because BM loves drama and wants to be a toxic influence in our marriage. Thank God my husband doesn't allow it. It's annoying anyway...which is why I told you all about it. LOL