Background: Husband, 2 bios, 3 steps

I didn't realize how much my steps hated me until they were grown. I swear I have PTSD from having them as step kids. I physically get ill when it comes to them. 

My bio son's daughter was getting married and suddenly my daughter-in-law became the best of friends with step #2. She had her co-ordinate the whole wedding. This is the step who has to take over everything. I was dreading this day just waiting for a year for the attack to take place. I knew it would come I just didn't know when. I was baking the cake for the wedding as a gift, and the attack happened the weekend before. I took a break to rest my back when a teenager who has called me grandma since she was a little girl, posted a picture of the two of us at an event at school that she envited me to. It was our last time walking together and she said how much she loved me. I reposted it because it was such a sweet sentiment. I have never bought this girl a thing. I have never invited her to do anything with me. I just seen her when I was around her at one of my bio's house because she was friends of the family. Bur she loved me anyway. Before long I got a text message from the girl saying she was sorry and that she didn't mean to cause trouble. I had no clue what she was talking about. My steps (including the one who had me blocked, had to come out of the woodwork) and step-grandkids were tearing me up on facebook. I saw the post and read the first few words and got off Facebook. I was not getting involved. I REFUSED to read the crap. Before long my bio's got involved, including my bio son who used his daughter's account to address them (they were furious and let me know what they did). My husband read it and shared a few pieces. I told him I was not reading their crap and I was/am done. Then we started getting texts messages from the one who took over the wedding. I refused and still refuse, to open the texts. When i wouldn't answer my husband said they started attacking him. I cried all weekend knowing I was being attacked, but I was determined not to show up for their infantile rants. I got sick to my stomach, was shaking, and had a headache all weekend long. I was so upset that when I continued baking I had to throw part of it out because I ruined it. That is why I think I have PTSD or PTSKD post traumatic step kid disorder. I can not control becoming ill. Finally, I made one post on my page since I knew they would read it, and said, "For my own peace of mind, I am completely, utterly, categorically, enequivocally without a doubt DONE." Then I posted the meme that says, "Sometimes you just have to be done. Not mad, not upset, JUST DONE." I chose from that moment on not to have anything to do with them. I walked away. It is sad when you turn children against their grandparents through manipulation. They held the kids over our heads. They never invited us to anything and was mad if we went to the ones who did. They lie and tell half truths and now the grands are doing it. One grandson defriended me a while back and said I de-friended him.  This bout one of the step grands de-friended me. I refuse to be their punching bag anymore. I decided if they were at the wedding I would only speak if I had to, and it would be like they were just guests of the wedding. Only one showed and that was the take over wedding co-ordinator. I asked her once if she wanted to use some chocolates I made to put on the tables. She motioned and said,, "You can put them anywhere," and walked off. Then I seen her at a graduation party. I didn't know most of the people there so I treated her the same. I went straight over to sit with some guests I was acquainted with. I never even seen her leave. There are just some relationships you do not need to be in, and these are them. I imagine the gossip parties and the attempts they are making to turn my bio grands against me.  I figure, if they truly love me, they will not let it effect them. Yet, gossip with a sharp tongue, and half truths rolling off of it daily can become believable. I will take it as it comes I guess. Life is too short for drama.