"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

ask her if her husband knows what she's doing...?

Ok. Probably not. But your BF sure could. That's all he'd have to do-say oh, really, and how does your DH feel about you saying that to me? Bet it would put a screaching halt to it. :evil:

It went on for 2+ years. How much she loved him, how they belonged together, how she knew she messed up but would change, how no one would ever love him as much as she does, how no one would ever be able to satisfy him the way she did, how they needed to be a family for their "kids" sake, how no one knows him as well as she does...not even him!!!!!!!! And on, and on ad nauseum. Of course, she didn't discover all of this until I came into the picture (a year after he had moved out of the house.) As long as he was alone, she was happy living her separate life. But oh boy did she go off the deep end when I came into the picture. She would send emails almost every single day begging him to come back, or trying to manipulate him through the boys. She sent letters, cd's, packages, photos, a copy of their marriage certificate and vows. Nasty letters and phone calls to me...I didn't think it would ever end, but it has for the most part. The best thing we did once again was ignore her. My SO shared the emails and stuff she sent with me, but he would never respond to her except a couple of times to tell her to knock it off. I guess she finally got tired of beating her head against a wall :-).

My BM told a mutual friend of theirs (when they were about to divorce) that she still loved my H but needed to find herself. She would get him him back and that it would probably take 3-5 years but they were going to be together.

Hello?? She cheated on him and spent all their money! I came along and she flipped completely out! I haven't really been around her because she runs away when I have seen her at the store. Her craziness started when we got engaged and she has been off the hook since.

It started out probably as jealousy and she did get remarried as well....but its a control issue now. (she married the guy she cheated on my H with. I think she got married due to the pending court case)

When FH was with the ex, she constantly fought with him for not making enough money, though she couldn't get off her lazy ass and ever earn any because she's a skilless loser. Her only skill is getting knocked up. So he takes a high paying job that causes him to be on the road a lot.
She decides to become a junkie (though I think she first used drugs intravenously when she was like 13) with my now skids at home with her,the youngest was only six months old. She starts cheating on FH and he comes home from work one weekend and she tells him to get out of their home because she's moved in her new boyfriend. Despite having two kids together and one stepkid, they were married less than a year. The first kid was a one night stand mistake and he tried to make a go of the family thing with her four years later which is how the youngest was born. The middle kid, occured between that time and I don't think BM even has clue who her dad is.
So, FH bewildered as all get out, tries to proceed with his life. He gets hit with CS saying he HAS to make so much money for the next however long to pay the bitch 30% of his then fairly decent income. In other words, he doesn't feel like he even has the option to be anything more than an EOW dad because he has no choice but to keep his job on the road.
Fast forward, three years later and after I'd been in the picture a year. BM goes to rehab and leaves her kids WITH ME because FH is still working on the road. Comes back from rehab after not completing it fully and gets knocked up, miscarrys (probably due to drug use) and arrested and starts telling the kids that she's getting back with daddy. She complains to him on the phone how he never had such and such (house, RV, boat - material things we have acquired together) when he was with her.
She tells the kids it's all MY fault. Which, the younger two might not remember, but I know the 9 yr old knows, I was nowhere around when she and their dad split and didn't even meet him until a year later.
She pulls this crap every time her flavor of the month or year decides she's psycho and splits. Oh, and she told them it was all my fault that they don't get back together when she found out she was pregnant with her latest bastard child this past spring.
What do I do about it? Nothing, she's delusional. The other two, I don't bother to set them straight, they are five and seven. Whether or not they figure out eventually that mom's just a money grubbing hooker who cries she misses daddy when the bills come due is pretty irrelevant to our home life.

All I did was make sure the lawyer got paid to take her kids from her, all three, and give them to us, so they don't have to be raised by a serial junkie. She's clean now she just gave birth two weeks ago. I give her til April, when the new wears off that baby, to start using again. Let's hear it for the immaculate fix.

He left my wife for a 16yo when my Wife was 17 and my SS was 1. At the time BioDad was 22.

I became SDad a few weeks before SS turned 2.

My SS came home from 5wk summer visitation with the "Dad still loves you and wants to know if you still love him" crap. My wife just laughed. Of course this confused SS (then 10) so my wife had to explain that Skid, she and I were a family now and that she was very happy being in the family that the three of us made together.

Unfortunately even now (6 years after the "Dad still loves you summer) BioDad is as big an idiot as he was when he was impregnating children.

That was one weird summer. Another of my Wife's teen flings (pre BioDad) called that summer to profess his undying love for her and to make sure that she and the Skid were Ok and that I was not miss treating them.

Best regards,

I mean, our BM drives me nutty enough, with telling SD (13 this week) that she still loves DH. I got hit with that one over Christmas this year. SD hurried to tell me that it wasn't in a married kind of way, that it was in a caring and affectionate "hope everything is going well with you" kind of way. Of course, BM also a) threw herself at DH at his father's funeral 3 years ago, a month before I came along; b) started crying to DH about how she was just SO UNHAPPY with her new husband a year and a half ago; c) told DH she hoped I cheated on him when I was at school for three months last spring. She's just trying to look like super-mom who gets along with everybody and who loves everybody, and if everybody doesn't just adore her back there must be something wrong with them.

Personally, I think it's healthy for SD to know that certain personalities just don't mesh, and that it's okay to be coolly civil and nothing more. That way, when the catty bitches show their claws in high school and adult life, she can shrug and move on, rather than become a toady just so people will act like they love her.

~Trish

get this straight she divorced him and remarried but she still tells your dh she loves him?All i can say is PATHETIC!!!!!!!

allow her to say things like that to me feeling sorry for her is what she wants to make you feel guilty for being with him.If you allow this to happen she might think its ok to start talking to your dh about getting back together.Never trust an ex spouse.

When the XW/XH start whinning about their regrets and still loving your/my spouse .......... CLICK.

I don't want the wear and tear on my eardrums for that kind of drivil and crap.

Definition: CLICK = Tough Shit, suck it up and deal with it ....... IDIOT!

JMHO.

Best regards,

I feel bad for the poor kid, imagine being caught in the middle like that? with the stepdad standing around.

My DH, ex wife felt like that too, when we first got together, BM had remarried already, but when I got in the picture she wanted him to herself,
She liked the idea that he no-one in his life.

It sounds like that ex has some serious issues, but you should be proud of your BF I think that he handled it well.