You are here

Sometimes I just want to throw something at him

Hastings's picture

I don't have a lot of experience with almost-teen boys, so this may be normal behavior. Regardless, it's starting to really piss me off.

SS12 (almost 13) likes to make sarcastic, mean comments about people -- not ones he's with, necessarily. He'll talk poorly about the school bus driver, how she's just old and mean and they all hate her. (From the sounds of it, she enforces rules and won't let them behave like hooligans. She's not a dragon lady.) DH tries to head him off a bit, reinforcing that regardless of what he thinks, he needs to behave and be polite to people.

There's a current commercial that shows three elderly women sledding and reliving some of their childhood joy. I admit I'm a sap, but that commercial gets to me. But I've always felt a lot of empathy and love for older people. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and their friends and loved all the stories. My last remaining grandparent is in poor mental and physical health, it's Christmas time, I'm a bit more emotional these days.

Last night, the commercial comes on and he spends the entire time scoffing. "This is stupid. They're too old. They look like they should already be dead. Like they can really remember being kids."

Then when something came up about an 80-year-old still working part time; "She can't even remember her name, probably. How can she work? That's just stupid."

I finally had enough and said that plenty of people in their 80s are still sharp and have a lot to offer. He just snorted dismissively and said something along the lines of "yeah, right."

Probably not a big deal. A lot of it's probably his age and usual kids discounting anyone they see as old (though I was never that way). And I'll admit to being super-sensitive these days. But good Lord, this kid rides my last nerve. Every time I start to think I'm being unfair and should make more effort with him, he says or does something that makes me think "hmm -- why am I supposed to like this little twit, again?"


Yesterdays's picture

That would really piss me off too. I'd likely say something like, those comments are very inappropriate and its not ok to talk about people like that so you BEST stop now

My step daughter said the rudest things too.. Made fun of everyone and it drove me up the wall..

la_dulce_vida's picture

I'd be a smart ass and when a commercial came on with young people who he thinks are "cool" I'd snark away.

"This is so dumb. You know those brats are spoiled with their parent's money. How can they afford that? Daddy, of course, because they are clearly uneducated. Those clothes are so stupid. Who comes up with this garbage. And that music!? It sucks."


AlmostGone834's picture

Came here to say this I'd probably say something along the lines of...

"What the are you talking about? You forget your sh- on the regular. Remember when you forgot x,y and z? You'd probably forget to wipe yourself if the toilet paper wasn't sitting right there in front of you. Those people are in their 80s. They've lived longer and accomplished more than I ever expect you will. If your own stupidity doesn't get you killed before you hit 30, your narcissistic little attitude is gonna land you with a several broken noses, black eyes and a lifetime colostomy bag. If I had a nickel for every time some smart-mouthed, know-nothing shot off his mouth..."

Yeah this is why it's probably a good thing I never had kids. Lol

Rumplestiltskin's picture

A lot of kids will be a-holes to try to be edgy, but it's their parents' job to teach them not to be a-holes. Sounds like he is still one, so he isn't being taught. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

To add, i remember being about that age and trying to be cool by talking bad about this other kid (who hadn't done anything wrong, i was just being a jerk) to my friends. My dad heard and ripped me a new one. I felt so bad about it, i still remember like it was yesterday. It was a painful lesson but necessary. 

floralsm's picture

That would annoy me too. People are living longer these days and I would remind him one day he will be old if he is lucky to live a long and fulfilled life. Little smart ass. 

JRI's picture

YSS and DH are natural comedians, it draws people to them.  But, I've seen both go too far at times.  When YSS was young, he sometimes said inappropriate things.  It took maturity for him to understand what was suitable and what wasnt.  I'm guessing your pre-teen SS is trying to show how cool he is.  I can remember jumping all over YSS about his remarks about some hefty neighborhoid girls.  But, it was uphill work since DH thought everything he did was great.

Cover1W's picture

OSD was like this too. Made fun of anyone, tore them apart, criticized, made fun of, and basically didn't listen to them if she had dismissed them in her mind as unimportant. I countered it every time, but I don't remember DH doing so. Even YSD does it sometimes when she's talking about her teachers, but that's about it for her which is about 90% better than OSD. OSD just thought she was better than literally everyone. Her first year of college, last year, she and her friends hosted a radio show at her school - and it was all about making fun of people, a basic sh*tshow of how cool they all were - and that included criticizing professors!  WTH! I can only hope she gets her own with time.

Hastings's picture

Glad to know I'm not the only one! I can remember trying to be cool and saying something about a girl at church, only for my parents to get very quiet and serious and tell me how wrong that was. They didn't yell, but I felt as low as a bug. I recall a similar thing happening with my nephew and my brother-in-law (not his father, but the "cool uncle").

In SS's case, he's incredibly arrogant and seems to truly believe he knows everything. I think DH could do a better job of bringing him up short, but even when he does, SS is dismissive.

SS is not funny. Never has been. Even when he was a little kid, he just wasn't funny or clever. Charm can help people get away with a lot. SS doesn't have it.

advice.only2's picture

“SS I know it’s hard to believe that someday you might be 80 working full time because you can’t afford to retire.  Or out riding on a sled because you want to recapture a few moments of those simple moments when you were young.  Hopefully you get that chance to see 80, not everybody gets the opportunity to live to a nice old age.”   Kids are assholes, especially pre-teens they are the worst.

SMisTired's picture

I love that commercial - makes me see that joy is for a lifetime!  He needs a swift kick in the bum or better yet a p/t time working supervised, of course, in an old folk's home.  I'd remind that he will be old one day and may not have anyone to take care of him, be alone and afraid....makes 'em think!  You can't teach's a shame.  What a dreadful little prat!


Rags's picture

70+.  I am one of the youngsters. I will be 60 in 2.5 mothns.

I am working with a company that bought my former business unit to resurect that business.  Most of the people I am engaging to fill roles are late 60s or older.

They make a ton of money, they know their stuff, and they have zero tolerance for bullshit.

The challenge will be when they are done. I have to work out a mind meld to transfer as much knowledge as possible to some younger talent and get the knowledge documented so it can be referenced after the brain power and experience is done  for good and sipping umbrella drinks on retirement beaches, mountain tops, or at their GGK's celebrations.

Kaylee's picture

My ex SD is 25 and still makes fun of people. She calls anyone over 50 an OAP (old age pensioner) and constantly says how "lame" and "boring" they are.

Mind you, she makes fun of and criticisms other groups too. She's just downright nasty TBH.

Harry's picture

He is trying to make people look bad, to make himself look better. Except he really doesn't know how to do it the right way.  So [ other people look stupid. He looks non stupid. Superior, ]. BUS driver is old/ he young. She is mean/ he is not mean.  She has a low class job/ he is in high class high school.  


Rags's picture

When he starts ridiculing others, drag him to a mirror by an ear, plant him there, then start giving him the lesson that someone with yellow dirty teeth, BO stench, dirty clothes, greasy zit covered skin, big ears, a goofy grin, bad grades, etc... (whatever applies) has no business being mean to others.  Then ask him how he likes having his flaws pointed out and made fun of.

Lather, rinse, repeat until he learns to be cognizant of the feelings of others and some kindness.