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Watson..There are games afoot...

halo1998's picture Beavers birthday was in June.  It was during DH's week.  Now there is a little remember clause in DH's custody agreement is that on their birthday's they get the kids.  Oh..whatever....Beaver never said anything and its not my job to know when her royal orange teethed highness' birthday is.  Needless to say Beaver didn't say anything and SD didn't go her house to worship..I mean celebrate Beaver's birthday.

Fast Forward...DH's birthday is today and SD was schedule to be back her NO

Also in DH's agreement, each parent gets 2 weeks with the kids for vacation.  Now COVID took out any chance of DH didn't schedule his 2 weeks.  Guess who wants her 2 weeks starting today....if you guessed just won the jackpot. Why yes...of course you Beaver, it is DH's birthday.  

Now, even DH caught on to this one last night....he was like..of course she does. She didn't get her birthday so she figures she will f*ck up my birthday.  He is like.."joke is on her...I COULD GIVE A SH*T LESS if SD is here.  Not like SD knows its my birthday and not like she will do anything for it on her own."  Wow...however he is right.  SD won't do anything on her own and usually "help" SD with Dh's birthday.  Sad since she is 14 years old....

So..DH told her fine take her two weeks and then he will take his two weeks.  DH is so far over the games he could careless if SD is here or not. At t his point if SD came here and said.."I want to live at Mom's"  Dh would pack her stuff up and drop it off, pay the extra child support for 4 years and be done.  He is so tired of the games...

I on the other hand....was singing FREEDOM...FREEDOM....because

1.  My kids are adults and come and go as the please these days.  No more...its mine, its his time...blah, blah, blah....

2.  No SD for what will be three weeks....I love her but good lord I'm tired of watching her TikTok videos and hearing her on facetime with her little friends.  

I feel sad for DH that he has gotten to the point where he really has started to pull away from SD due to the games Beaver plays.  


Gimlet's picture

Honestly, good for your DH.   So many of these dads get marginalized until it's like they aren't even a person anymore, just a backup plan with a wallet.

Even if that does happen, I'd bet my retirement on the fact that after Beaver is done ruining these kids, she's going to back on your doorstep looking for help because after all, he's the FAAAAATHERRRRR.    I'd love to see her stupid face when she realizes that no one is going to bail her out (or at least I hope not).

halo1998's picture

once the kids are no longer income I think Beaver will try and send them here.  Again..joke will be on her...DH will not let them live with us.  He told SS when he left..its a one way ticket.  You will not return to my house.  DH is very serious about that.  He will not be a walking wallet.  DH can be a pita sometime but I will say the man can set boundries and stick with them.

CastleJ's picture

My DH goes through these games. We used to fight BM on these issues which led to lengthy emails from BM full of abuse. It was constant back and forth. We took her to court for more time, the court denied due to long distance schedule and SS' age (he is 8). The judge felt he is too young to be away from Mommy for more than 2 weeks at a time. We asked for joint legal custody to assist in decision making, BM made false allegations, we were denied.

Since then, DH has switched to total parallel parenting. BM worries about SS on her time and he worries about him on his time. It has been such a relief. BM still tries to poke the bear but DH doesn't engage. Yesterday, she sent an email that SS' teammate for football had been exposed to COVID. She sent a super lengthy email about all that she is doing "to protect SS". DH said "Great, thanks for the update". She responded, shocked that DH didnt fight her on it. She wanted to fight. DH is like nope, SS gets COVID, its on her.

BM made sure she was the only parent and made sure she kept sole legal and physical at all costs, including false allegations. She was willing to die on that hill so she can be responsible for the damage she causes due to her decisions. My husband is a great father and a great husband, but BM and the system have beat him down so far that he just doesn't play the game anymore. It pisses BM off more than anything because she cant get a rise out of him anymore. She gets off on conflict. 

notarelative's picture

At 8 he was too young to be away from BM for more than two weeks! Does this judge still live with his mom? In Britain many of the upper class (aka rich) start sending their children to boarding school at age eight.

CastleJ's picture

We have 4 weeks of summer parenting time in 2 2 week stints because SS can't be away from BM for longer than that. The judge said he will reevaluate when SS is 11 since he will be older. I call bullshit. Our state is super mother favoring. 

tog redux's picture

This sounds just like my DH with BM. He tried his hardest to be a parent to SS but BM shoved him out at every turn, and eventually alienated SS entirely.  DH just started ignoring everything she says, hasn't responded to her for years.

SS is now 20, a total hot mess, and BM actually tried to get DH to help pay for something - hell no. It's bad enough he still has to pay child support in our state, he's not doing anything else. IGNORE.

CastleJ's picture

Its funny how that works! They ruin the kid and expect their ex that they did every to get rid of, to pick up the pieces of their crap parenting. Our BM moved on with a woman in 2016 and she told SS he has two Moms and DH was just a sperm donor. Its amazing since Gf came into the picture when SS was 4... well good, if DH was such a sperm donor, then Gf can pay child support and we can pocket out $10k per year that we pay to BM! 

You can't make this crap up! My DH has said the best part of having no custody is not having to pick up the mess of BM's making. If she ruins, hurts or kills SS due to choices she makes, its on her and only her. She can't blame DH for that. 

halo1998's picture

and DH can say definately not his problem.  DH tried for years with SS...and in the end he sided with Beaver since she is "his FRIEEEENDDD".  We will see how much of Frieeeendd she is when the CS stops rolling for him next March.