New here and I want to vent, too.
Hi all. I have been reading and lurking here for a month and decided to join today. A little background first. I have 4 bio kids and hubs has 1 daughter from his first marriage. We have been together since his daughter was 12. She is now 28. From the very first time I met her she was a pill, to say the least. I knew she was spoiled and entitled but I had no idea of how bad it is until today. I, like many of you have disengaged since February of this year. Step-d caused such commotion for our family then that for my sanity I had to cut her off. Hubby agreed and even said if he had to choose between me or her that he chose me. He acknowledges that she has put a huge wedge in our otherwise decent relationship.
My kids were always expected to toe the line. ALWAYS. But he is so afraid of his Princess (gag) not loving him that he gives in to her every whim. Spineless much??
After the blow out in February I told him that he and she should maintain their relationship without me. Meaning that he would meet her somewhere other than my safe zone. IE: my house. He agreed and she followed this rule he put into place.
Forward to today. Today is his birthday. I spent the day baking a cake and fixing his fave dinner. He calls me on his way home from work to tell me that despite his best efforts, she is on the way to HER dad's house to bring him a cake and a card. He told her it would be uncomfortable for all involved and he could meet her this weekend. She would not hear any of it. She was coming anyways. That I would need to grow up and get over it.
He came home and I met him in the driveway, grabbed his keys and told him to call me when she left. I sat in McD's parking lot and fumed to my mother on the phone. He called about an hour later to say I could come home that she had just left.
I get home and found her cake on the dining table in the middle and the cake I made was shoved to the side as if hers was to be the centerpiece. I could care less about the cake. I am hurt that once again I was pushed aside while she is the princess and I am treated as a second class citizen in my own home.
I moved her cake to the back porch and mine sits untouched on the counter now. So not in the mood to be sweet.
I will vent more at another time but I have a headache from blood pressure.
I have started to make my exit strategy and he will have his precious to crap up HIS house. Maybe she will be his wife because I AM DONE!!!!
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Comments
Love the log-in name..
Love the log-in name.. lol!
Posts like this make me cringe! Do they really never grow up? Im in my twenties myself, and since the day my dad picked his wife over me Ive never come unannounced, rarely if ever call, and would never put her in that type of situation ESP now that Im an adult myself as well as a SM!
Wow just wow. Do you have kids together or your bio kids are yours alone? I always wonder how differently this works when you bring in some and he brings in some.. thatll certainly mix it up.
We have no children together.
We have no children together.
She has no boundaries and has never had consequences. He didn't really choose me. He likes the path of least resistance and that means he coddles her and he doesn't hold her accountable for anything. As long as I am not dogging his baby everything is fine. As soon as I point out that she has disrespected me again he says he knows but doesn't know what to do about it. Therefore won't do anything...
I'm sick of the whole dysfunctional mess.
Yes my kids are allowed here.
Yes my kids are allowed here. They don't disrespect me or my husband. If they did, they wouldn't be welcome here either. I take NO CRAP from kids period.
I say MY house but it is ours. His and mine. I say mine because I do all the housework, cooking, pay bills, etc. He does nothing but cut the grass. The garage is his.
My SD thinks I control hubs
My SD thinks I control hubs too. What a crock. Obviously I control nothing as he allows her to rule.
She also has few lasting friends and changes boyfriends ALL THE TIME. ALways telling her kids that the new flavor of the week is their daddy.
Our boys, SS 17 and SS 23
Our boys, SS 17 and SS 23 think I control their father too! I know I married a man with a mind of his own (chuckle) and they are beginning to see it now. Our girl SD 17 also believes she is 'parent' but I think that's just a phase, she is nurturing others rather than getting to know her own self. I am seeing a little introspection with her lately though. It was HELL on wheels for about 5 years here with SKids, God bless DH and his patience...especially when I lost mine!
I got a message on FB
I got a message on FB berating me because I didn't put my big girl panties on last night. How dare I refuse to allow sd to not share in the celebration!!! It's because of her we celebrate NOTHING!!!
All she brings to the table is drama. If it is NOT about her, she will make everything about her. She breaks household rules that we all follow except her. For example, we have white-ish carpet. I like it clean. The rule is no shoes on in carpeted areas. Easy enough to follow. But Princess not only wears shoes on carpet but puts her shoes on my furniture. WHen I tell her the rule yet once again, she tells me her shoes aren't dirty. Dumbass just got in from outside where there is dirt! Or maybe she flew in on a broom...
Last February, the reason for my disengagement, my dd was moving and had bought a vehicle from step-d. DD informed SD that she needed the title. SD said no title until she got 150 more and DD had to PROVE that the money came out of her account, not Daddy's. (At he time DAAAADY wasn't working, only I was) Otherwise no title. I called SD and told her that she needed to give up the title and since the vehicle was PAID FOR that no more money would be exchanged. SD replied that she had lost it. Since she had recieved it in the mail that day I called her a lying f-ing b#$ch. I asked her if she was willing to accept the ramifications (I told her she would NOT treat me or my kids this way or she would not be welcome in our home) she said she sure was... Now I drew my line in the sand.
So all these months later she is upset that I am holding my boundaries?? WTH does she expect me to do? Cave like the spineless wonder (my DH)? Nope.
Her cake is still on the back porch.
My youngest DD is off to college in 5 days. I will be looking for a place to live since my dh took it upon himself to allow her to break my boundaries. They can have each other. I'd rather be alone than feel like my peace is at stake every minute of every day.
Too funny, but when I read
Too funny, but when I read the part where you said you took his keys, I expected the next part to be, "I shoved him out the door and locked the house up with me inside." That would have kept SD out and still allowed her and your DH to meet!
I am in the same situation in that SD18 is no longer allowed in MY house (I own half of it, after all) because of the way she has treated me. DH took her keys and changed the code on the garage door. She couldn't get in if she tried, and fur would fly if DH let her in. She has been back ONCE when she called at 1 am with no place to spend the night, and I made DH take her with him when he left the house at 6 am.