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2 weeks in...continued

grace8205's picture

So I guess 2 weeks is the limit as I mentioned in my last blog. The gloves are coming right off once my bio's visit is ended, I want to limit as much of the negativity of skid situation while he is here. 

I ended up converting my office into a spare room (selling my desk, office chair and mid century modern couch/futon). Bought a new bed and bedframe and it looks great. I spoke to my son the day he was flying out to find out if its ok that he is upstairs (since the downstairs spare room occupied by skid is full of the furniture that I bought my son) and of course he says he does not care as long as there is a place for him to sleep and he was just excited to come out here. 

I hate to ask things of my own kid sometimes because even if it did not sit well with him you would never know because he is so easy going. But I do think he meant it. 

Part of me hates letting skid stay in that room after his poor behavior and DH trying to wiggle out of what was agreed upon. However I think it would be worse for skid to be upstairs in my space especially since we are no longer talking. 

I texted skid to let him know that he will not be moving bedrooms but I wasn't all sweet about it. My text read: "I have spoken to Bio and asked if he minded  where is slept. He said he does not care as long as he has a place to sleep, but its not like he would ever tell me differently since he is so good natured. "

That text made the pout go up a couple more notches. He never responded to me and a few mintues later I could here him leave slam the door loudly and get into his car and light up the tires as he sped off. We have no uttered one word to each other since and I am no longer taking skid's shit.

After I texted skid he sent a text to DH with a screen shot of my text, which when DH came home I told him about it anyways. DH said that skid apologized (via text to DH) for him saying anything Friday night and that he should just go to his mom's, to which said no we have room and its fine. Told skid that I want Bio to be comforatble on his visit since he was not been home in a year. skid tells DH I will move rooms, thats ok, I insist. - He also asked in the text to DH if I was saying that he (skid) was not good natured. DH did not answer that to him, because he even knows that his skid is not good natured or easy going. Which is just bs because skid would be totally passive agressive about it by that point. I told DH that skid did not apologize to me. 

I thought about a Airbnb however my son is a chef working on his Bachelor of Hospitality Management degree and I cook too, and we end up cooking together. Way to much work to pack my whole kitchen to an Airbnb. Last night we made an amazing meal and skid did not want to be around us so he left. That was perfect. 

DH left for work out of town for the next 2 days. This should be interesting. But I will fill my time with my son and doing stuff together and ignore my asshole skid. DH is back to being an ostrich. 

Comments

Chmmy's picture

I think Im spoiled by easy going bios and when i got some demanding and entitled skids it was like a slap in the face

ESMOD's picture

I honestly do think that it makes more sense for the person only being in the home 10 days to "take the spare room" vs displacing someone who is living in the home.  I understand the issue with the furniture previously being the furniture your son used.. but was your son planning on taking it with him? or was the plan for it always to be  guest room material.  Sounds like you did make an adjustment.. not sure why you felt you needed to make a big change for just a 10 day visit. though.. I understand you want to make your son feel welcome.. but surely he would understand sleeping in the spare room if he knows his step brother is actually "living" in the home.  he is technically a visitor but SB isn't at the moment.  Alternately.. I guess the Airbnb could have been an option for you and your son if you wanted more bonding time.

Hopefully your DH holds fast to the deadline and the rules for his son though.

tog redux's picture

I agree, I wondered about that. Seems like the person who is visiting doesn't bump someone else out of what really ISN'T his room, as he's never used it.  I can see how DH and skid felt a bit slighted by that. And it doesn't even sound like your DS cares where he sleeps.

grace8205's picture

The furniture is my son’s to take with him once he is done school. Plus it was the arrangement was made and agreed to before skid moved in. I really wasn’t planning to spend $800 for another bed at Christmas time and give up my home office. 

The way skid handled it was terrible especially when he said he had no issues with it before hand.

 

Harry's picture

You can not let SO change the agreement, because he want to.  Just saying, I will tell you want to hear. But do what I want. BS is more important then his SD.  If let this go, then you don’t have any say in your own home 

Siemprematahari's picture

Enjoy your time with your son. Cook up wonderful meals, have fun with him and don't stress yourself about SS. Act like he's not even in the house and live your happiest life. If he doesn't like it he can always get in his car and go to his mothers house but either way don't allow anyone to steal your joy from spending time with your son.