This is my first time on a forum like this. I think I just need to vent. But I feel like I am gonna lose it....

I married my husband is July of 2013. We have known each other for roughly 5 years, together for 1. He is my soul mate and I am so in love with him. He has 4 children. Oldest being a female who is 14. and her bio brother who is 13. Both generally good kids, adopted by my husbands parents several years ago. Their mother moved to Florida in Feb of 2013. The oldest daughter has been back and forth on if she really cares or not and the oldest boy doesn't seem to be phazed.

My husband has a 9 year old daughter who lives with her psycho mother and he doesn't see her.

His youngest is a 5 year old boy. WE have "50/50" custody of him. But we actually him every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, every other Friday Saturday and Sunday. He goes to his mother Sunday evening and stays with her through Tuesday morning. He goes to daycare/preschool during the day Monday-Friday. His mother doesn't work, she had a still-born back in February and got pregnant again in May. She got engaged to the guy she was dating (after dating his friend and leaving his friend for him) for 2 months. They randomly got married one day at the courthouse. (her son wasn't there to witness it). On her "weekends" with him she ships him off to her mother's house who lets him run wild, no discipline, buys him everything under the sun....he doesn't have to work for anything.

When I first started dating my husband (my ss was 3) the custody was a bit different and we didn't have him as much (she had him for a week and then we would have him for a week). He would go to school when with us but not with his mother. He was very far behind for his age group. He would act somewhat spoiled but I never had a major issue with him. Until now. He just turned 5, likes to back talk, hit, kick, bite, question everything we say or tell him to do, acts like a spoiled rotten brat. I can't stand it. His father is at the end of his rope as well and doesn't know what to do. I have resorted to ignoring the kid for now. (Things really blew up 2 days ago and the day everything went really bad his mother picked him up that evening so we haven't had him). He hasn't hit, kicked or bit me (he hasn't bit anyone in our house but has at school, his nani and his mom and stepdad). But he does hit and kick his father and talks back to both of us. We have tried taking things away, time outs, spanking, talking to him...he doesn't get it. I am really starting to think this kid is just really f***ing stupid. He knows the rules at our house, he just decides he isn't going to follow them. I don't know what to do with him anymore. I am alone with him for at least a few hours a day after school until his dad gets home. I barely let him watch tv cause all he wants to watch is garbage. I have to threaten to throw away his toys to get him to play with them (they aren't all electronic and fancy so they aren't good enough for him!). I won't mess with my husbands XBOX and I think 5 is too young to be playing video games anyway (especially non-educational ones). He continually bothers the dogs and telling him to stop doesn't work.

I worry about having my baby and the influence he will have on his brother or sister. Personally I don't want him anywhere near my kid. I think on one side of the spectrum he will be a good helper, but he is a rough kid and I don't trust him up close and personal with the baby. Plus he is always sick, he refuses to blow his nose, always forgets to wash his hands and flush the toilet....I could go on and on and on and on and on. I am at my breaking point, my husband is at his which makes us both cranky and gets us upset with one another. I am worried this kid is going to ruin my marriage.

To be continued....