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I just don't know what to do anymore!

goingcrazyinNY's picture

I have literally gotten to the point over the last 7 and a half years that I went out and purchased a paper so that I could start the search for my own place I don't think I can take it anymore! He has A 10 year old daughter who makes me wanna scream throw tantrums myself and rip out my hair! I have an 11 ear old son myself so don't get me wrong I know what kind of trouble makers they can be! I love all 3 of my kids (she is my SD but I have raised her as my own since she was 3) I have always treated her the same as my 2 if my kids go to the store with me and they got something she has never been left out!
Now let me just say my husband is not the brightest crayon in the box!He is oblivious to anything she does and never hears her talk back to me yell at me or scream at me (mind you he is sitting right on the couch) I am not trying to bash my husband I am just at wits end and don't know what to do anymore everyone always thinks I am just being a bi**h cause she's just a "little girl".Her BM and I have gone from a tension filled terrible relationship to a fantastic relationship she and I are on the same page now and we are trying to work together to get "our" daughter to mind and be respectful as well as do her homework and behave in school.
When my husband and I first started dating my SD was bed wetting and daddy bowed down to her every wish I have slowly gotten him to back off with some stuff but his motto was "if you just give her what she wants then she will stop throwing her fit or whining". She is now going to be 11 in may any and still is wetting her self even at school doesn't care nor is she embarrassed she don't even change and when she does she hides the dirty panties and pants.Throws temper tantrums when she don't get what she wants, screams at me when I don't do what she wants right then and there.
I feel like I am kinda rambling and stuff and I know this is my first post but I really just need someone out there to listen I feel like my world is crumbling around me!The stress just keeps piling on!
My SD has been a down right pain in the a$$. I have tried everything known to man kind! OMG her school work is a whole other story all in it's own I have never seen a 4th grader sit at the dining room table from the time she gets home till bedtime doing homework in my life till this little girl! Her grades at school are impeccable except reading she is reading below grade level I believe it is a 2nd grade level I believe.Her teachers have all said she is capable of everything and even having a B+-A+ average. But her not wanting to read is hindering her grade's. She used to tell her father I wouldn't help her,For a few years that worked for her to get him to give her the answers then she started telling the school I wouldn't help her.That worked till the teachers started E-mailing me! She is still throwing fits during homework and when she asks for help it idk how to sound out this word I look at the word and it like cat or as I mean come on what 4th grader do you know that can sound out constitution but not and as or if?She has started to pull this with math she will ask me to help I explain the problem (after I first make her read through the directions because she never does)and she will be like I don't get it *insert my name here*! and I explain 3 more ways to the point where I end up giving her the answer cause I am just so frigging frustrated at this point and I still get "but I don't understand! Daadddyyy! She won't help me." he gets up walks out tells her the same damn thing and she says oh now I get it or just gives her the answer! how is she going to learn is he going to go to school and take the test for her to! NO! So I finally after dealing with this for 5 yrs or so I had decided A few weeks ago I wasn't going to make her do her H.W. anymore it's his problem! so she isn't doing her H.W. i found out the teacher started E-mailing me telling me she isn't doing her work in class or home and is refusing to do her writing she sat there for 45 mins in class doing nothing but staring at the walls! Or coloring on her boots that I pay for!and lying about doing her work she will come in and say oh my h.w. is done dad! and i got it done in less then an hour! Okay does anyone besides me see how he should be going hmm..... you were taking all night to do it before and now its done in 30 mins but he is telling me this whole time that Oh he had a learning disability when he was A kid. she probably does to that's why she is having so much trouble with her work!But then she hear him say the teachers are giving her to much work and she goes and tells her BM that her father says she is getting to much H.W. and it is stressing her out so she shouldn't have to do it! Needless to say her BM was pissed!But I am going to stop ranting on here for now!lol I really just need someone to talk to who isn't going to judge me!Someone who understands what it's like and doesn't think I am just being mean or picking on her I do love her I just don't know which way to turn anymore!I feel horrible cause I look forward to her going to visit her BM and count down the days till shes old enough to move out!


sterlingsilver's picture

I;ve been counting down the days till ss15 moves out for about 3 years now. He doesn't go to bm's ever and sits around on the couch with his hand in his crotch playing xbox and leaving dishes and shoes and dirty socks all over. Yup , not easy at all but somehow us smoms gotta suck it up and care for these spawns that are not ours. I rarely ever ask dh to do anything for my bios yet I am always catering to his brat.

Sorry, you got me venting now too. lol

Welcome and I hope you find a good place here. I have had more valuable support from this group then even my own family.

oldone's picture

Let her fail. Let her be a miserable excuse for a human being. Don't even try to help her. She's just setting you up to be the villain.