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Got back some of my identity!!

frustratedinMA's picture

Soo... DH was getting the skids this past weekend as a make up to the weekend the BM decided to change 2 days before his weekend. Then we have them this coming weekend again. Part of the deal I made w/my dh was that 1) SD9 could not have her friend over either weekend as a punishment for messing up the past 2 weekends we had her w/this friend over (NOT the friends' fault.. she gave the friend pills her BM had sent up in her backpack, unbeknownst to us, and the weekend after went w/her friend into my room when that is off limits).. 2) I was going to the movie that HE was originally supposed to go to w/me...

Both of those happened.. (well.. so far on #1) He informed her when he picked them up that she was NOT to ask to have the friend over, nor was she allowed to ask to go over to the friends... She didnt ask!!! Then on Saturday night, he took the $$ out of the atm for me to go to the movies.. I went w/my aunt... but would have gone solo...

These two things made this weekend soooo bareable.. Yesterday we spent the day together as a family playing board games.. it was really nice.. Also, DH made pancakes for breakfast AFTER I got up (which he let me sleep in) and the skids had a bowl of cereal to tide them over.. then 2 pancakes ea. when it was pancake time.. and he gave me 3.. when the skids said they wanted more, he reminded them they already had a bowl of cereal ea. that I hadnt eaten, and that 2 was plenty for them. ***Seriously, I dont think their BM makes them pancakes... why else feel the need to gorge on them*** This by the way was a first.. normally my hunger needs are considered AFTER those of the skids..

Wonder if standing my ground and leaving him home w/them made him realize that I am STILL independent... and perhaps he should worry more about my comforts.. OR the counseling is working.. which again would make him worry more about my comforts!!

I wish every skids weekend would go this nicely!!!

Comments

no validation's picture

I had a few of those moments Thursday and Friday nights myself! It feels very empowering doesn't it?!?!?! Good for you and I hope this is just the start of many more to come! At the very least it gives you a moment to just take a deep breath and smile.....and build up the strength to continue on!!!

Nothing comes easy thats worth fighting for.....thats what they tell me!

frustratedinMA's picture

yes.. especially since my dh is very opposed to me NOT spending time w/the skids.. I just knew I would need a break.. He also agreed to drop them off a bit earlier this coming Sunday so that we can go out w/three other couples for dinner... We dropped them off later yesterday as a fav. to the BM (of course!).. So my dh and I didnt have dinner until after 9pm as that is when he got back from his 3 hr trip to drop them off and come home.

But yes.. Going out to the movie as planned... with or w/o him was empowering. I used to do all these things by myself when I was single.. and its good to know that I still can.. and that I didnt get grief this time.