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Any Recourse for Out-of-Pocket Medical Bills?

Frustr8d1's picture

When SD was only 8, she needed tons of dental work done since she REFUSES to take care of her teeth. She will kick, cry, and scream for over an hour before even trying to brush her damn teeth. Other times, she will nicely go in the the bathroom to brush her teeth when we tell her to, turns the water on, then just stands there making us believe she is brushing them. I know this because I go in after her and the toothbrush is bone dry. So, we ended up with over $500 in dental bills not covered by insurance. Of course, BM told us that's our problem since we are the ones with full custody. Well, I do NOT want to get bit in the ass again when she needs braces...and she will. Her teeth are totally messed up. BM doesn't even pay child support...she's $4,600 behind! BM is only court ordered to pay $200/mo. She rarely even pays that amount, then she believes child support is all-inclusive for any extra expenses. We are constantly stuck with the bill...school clothes, extra school supplies, medical, dental, friends' birthday parties, etc. I plan to put my foot down when it comes to us paying 100% of the braces and drivers' license, etc. Those big ticket items are just around the corner!

Can we tell SD that she cannot get braces or drivers' license until BM pays half for them? I don't believe braces are a medical necessity but are cosmetic? And I don't believe it's a requirement or an entitlement to get a drivers' license the minute you turn 16? My friend wasn't allowed to get hers until age 18.

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herewegoagain's picture

Hey! If it makes you feel any better, I too began working at 14 and paid my clothes, anything outside of food/housing/required school stuff...No car, no license unless I worked/paid for it...no cute clothes except the hand me downs from friends or sister or cheap Walmart whatever my MOTHER decided to buy. Anything else, it was on me. It was the best gift I ever received from my parents. Same with DH.

herewegoagain's picture

Neither braces nor a license are necessities. BM tried to get DH to pay by telling him he had to and we found out otherwise. There is no requirement for ANYONE to get a license, much less a 16yr old. I wouldn't get them one either. Once you do, your insurance will go through the roof and there's no obligation for BM to pay that, as it was your decision.

As far as the other medical bills you have, if she is required to pay 1/2 or whatever, I believe you have a timeline to submit those to her (check the cs/divorce papers). If you have followed those rules, etc...then I think you can go to the CS office and show them she hasn't paid and they can add it to the CS order.

Frustr8d1's picture

That's fine if braces are a necessity. But shouldn't BM have 50% interest & responsibility in such a "medical necessity?" I mean really, I had to take out a loan for my own BD in order to get her braces when I couldn't afford it. So why should DH and I have 100% of the responsibility for BM when we are ALREADY 100% responsible for every other thing since we have full custody while she is a deadbeat??
I mean seriously, BM refused to even foot the bill for a birthday & Christmas card even after we "reminded" her to send something.

Frustr8d1's picture

Not true, sueu2...No one is trying to punish anyone. It's a matter of lack of finances and equity. My own bio daughter couldn't get braces until both me AND my ex-husband could afford it... So, WHY in the world would SD be more priviliged to get braces when WE can't afford it? I just don't understand why Skids seems to be more entitled to things that kids of non-divorced couples are??

As for SD not brushing her teeth, you're right, that has nothing to do with braces. However, is DOES have everything to do with the $500 dental bill we are stuck with that insurance would not cover and BM refused to pay a dime for!

Frustr8d1's picture

Not changing the story. Don't overanalyze....if you re-read the story, we already were forced to pay 100% of dental bills. I can predict the same thing will happen when it's time for braces. Hasn't happened yet, but when SD NEEDED dental work, we had to foot the entire bill. And we did so because it was a necessity. So, when it comes to cosmetic work, I don't believe we should be 100% responsible. It's really not about fault and blame! It's about BOTH bioparents being responsible for their kids!