The End
So he broke up with me, I speak my mind to him and he breaks up with me. I told him he needed to parent his own kids. That he and his kids were spoiled.
This might be my last post on blog. We are suppose to go to the counselor on Thursday and find out the best way to explain this to the kids. One of my friends said that maybe going to the counselor will change things, I doubt it.
Well, I can say this, now he will have to take care of his own kids. It is no longer my problem.
4 years.... I am reduced to a room mate. I can't leave, I don't make enough money. We have agreed to sleep in separate bedrooms and still function as room mates. It might be bogus, I might have to move out for my sanity. So I am no longer a step really. I guess I never really was.
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I don't think I'd be able to
I don't think I'd be able to live with BF after he broke up with me. Is there any family you can call?
I do have to say is that it would be a huge consolation prize that its true...now he does have to take care of his own kids.
No, cannot go to family. Very
No, cannot go to family. Very long story there, but no family. He knows that too. There is only some anger in all of this, I kind of can't wait to be on my own with my girls. They have grown so much this last year. He even says he wants to be a part of their lives if I let him. I am not sure. There is an apartment complex very close to here, would be the same school. My girls and I have moved a lot since I left their dad 5 years ago. I was hoping for some stability, but once again, no security.
thanks stepkate, I do appreciate it.
Somehow I have wanted this to
Somehow I have wanted this to last. I see your point, not sure why I have stuck around this long either. It is on my mind that I want to be on my own, just me and my girls.
Thank you for your post, it was a breath of fresh air!
Oh I am sorry but try not to
Oh I am sorry but try not to let it beat you down. A fresh start may be better for your and your girls.
I hope you will just try to accept this for now, because he most likely will come sniffing back around as soon as you are independent again. Then it will be up to you to decide what you would want.
But there is a lot to be said for not having to put up with bullsh*t. HUGS
I'm sorry. I'm going through
I'm sorry. I'm going through a D right now myself so I can't comment much on site. But hugs to you.
Freedom2005, I am so, so
Freedom2005, I am so, so sorry you are going through this.
I went back and read through your past blogs - you have been one extremely patient, kind, selfless...oh, did I mention extremely PATIENT, woman in how you have handled the whole situation with your BF and SD11 sleeping with him all the time and how she always commanded his attention through all these years.
I was really pulling for you and I thought that somehow your situation would work out. Especially since you were in counseling and especially that YOUR BF WAS ALSO IN COUNSELING...I thought for sure that things wouldn't end up this way for you.
Your blogs were always positive, always upbeat and you seemed to be very objective and you also clearly conveyed how much you loved your skids, as you love your own girls. It is difficult to "endure" what you have for so long and to constantly keep positive hoping and praying that through the counseling and being patient and kind, that things will turn out well. I give you so much credit for all of your "hard work" you put into your relationship. It was clear from your posts that you gave 1000%.
I am sorry that your BF does not appreciate the wonderful, compassionate woman he seems to have. It doesn't matter that you weren't married for those years, you were still his kids' stepmom - you were an amazing mother to them, especially when their own biomom just threw them to the side because of her own addictions/demons.
I can relate to how you must feel. I'm not married to my BF, either, but I have lived with him for 2+ years (been dating him for 6+ years) and I would be absolutely devastated if he just broke up with me as your BF did to you. I've put years of blood, sweat, tears, etc...into this relationship - and married or not, it is a valuable one that I've spent many years of my life on because I've made it the most important thing in my life (in addition to my own happiness).
When you wrote "4 years...and I am now reduced to a roommate" - that COULDN'T.HAVE.HIT.ME.HARDER. I am so sorry that your BF does not see how you put yourself in this vulnerable place because you trusted him, loved him, helped him raise his kids (especially when he won full custody) and all the while were being a super BIOmom raising your girls to be good human beings with values.
His loss...he seems to be very selfish/self-absorbed and he will NEVER find another woman like you.
Freedom, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take comfort in knowing that we will all be here for you and will all be praying for and pulling for you. You need to do what is best for YOU now and your girls. Take good care of yourself.
I hope that your BF wakes up, takes his head out of his ass, and begs and pleads for your forgiveness. Shame on him. He is throwing away the best thing that has ever happened to him.
((((Freedom2005))))
Thank you so much for your
Thank you so much for your words. It means so much to me what you see. I also hope he wakes up. I do love him.
After some discussions with
After some discussions with "him" I am not sure that we are ended. I do love him very much. However, we are going to the counselor together on Thursday. I think he is realizing how much he will have to do if we split things in actual half! LOL In any case, I am done having myself feel responsible for his kids and how they are. From now on my mantra, "not my kid". He says that he raises his kids different from me, but that he is not a bad parent. No, he is not a bad parent. He believes that his kids will be OK when they grow up, that they "are just kids". Well, my girls love me and I am teaching them how to be ladies. If his kids grow up and are unable to be self sufficient, it is NOT on me, even if I stay.
I agree with the majority of you all that I should leave. I do believe that he and I can get along long enough to make sure my new job will be a success and I can support myself alone. I would rather stay and have a happy family, even with his commitment issues.
One of my friends, a guy friend no less, thinks that this is temporary. That "he" needed some space and this was his way of getting it. It is not fair to me, I know.
Thank you ladies, I will keep you posted on my progress. For now, we are still in the same room, he wants to move me down the hall. I have not had the courage to ask if SD11 will be sleeping with him.
XOXO