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The crazy ex wife.....

footballbabe's picture

Submitted by footballbabe on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 3:30am

I'm sure my situation isn't unique, however, I still would appreciate any help or support anyone could provide. I could really use some advice. My fiance and I are getting married next year. He has two boys. The oldest is 20 and the youngest is 15. His ex wife is a real pill. She was verbally abusive throughout the marriage and on occasion, physically. I am stuck between a rock and a hard spot. Since before the divorce was over, she has been filling their heads with the craziest stuff. She has gone so far as to write horrible things to my fiance under their oldest son's email name. She told them that their father didn't love them, that they were an inconvenience to him and a financial burden. She has even told them that I stole him away from her. I would like to try to at least make peace with them, but, to no surprise, it hasn't happened and I'm not sure it's going to. Is there any way to stop her? I know she's hurting and that she's jealous, but this is causing real problems. Any advice?

Comments

Cinders's picture

Submitted by Cinders on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 5:05am

I am sorry to hear abour your situation, i am in one not that different to yours only the children are slightly different ages.

My partners son is 21 soon and there are two girls who are 15 & 11. The son knows what his mother is like, he gets on with her but he knows that she is a liar so he is fine with everything.

The girls get told allsorts of things by there mother which initially i sort of understood but now over 2 years later i thought it may have settled.

Too be honest there is not a lot you can do, women like this will never change and they want to protect there children but what they don't realise is the damage that they are doing.

All you can do when you see them is explain that although him and there mother are no longer together and are unable to get on he still loves them and wants them as part of his life and you can perhaps explain that you are with there dad and you knew about them before and they are part of him so you love them too.

I am sorry i am not much use but these crazy women will just not be stopped, they are just bitter tongued rodents!

Good luck

footballbabe's picture

Submitted by footballbabe on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 7:22pm

I love that, bitter tongued rodent thing!!! lol. I would never speek poorly of there mother. I guess thats why I joined this sight! lol. It just seems like there isn't even a light at the end of the tunnel. It's been going on forever. I'm sorry about your situation. I would think that girls would be harder to connect with. Good luck to you.

RustyHalo's picture

Submitted by RustyHalo on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 7:58am

No. You can't stop her. You basically need to ignore her. You will have to realize that you can't control what she says or does. You can only control your immediate surroundings and just try to make it as pleasant as possible when the skids are over. You just need to hope that one day (hopefully soon) that the skids will start using their own judgments about you.

Gana's picture

Submitted by Gana on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 9:21am

You need to be the person who you are..no acts. If you show them the person that you really are then eventually they will see for themselves what you do for them and I think they will eventually come around. I learned that you can't control what other people do or say, just control what you do.. What goes around comes around that is my favorite saying so let her keep doing what she is doing and it will backfire on her. Believe me!!!!

footballbabe's picture

Submitted by footballbabe on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 4:53pm

I do believe in karma. I just really hope she gets back what she gives. It's just hard to sit by and watch my FH suffer. I want them to like me for me, but im worried that I wont get the opportunity for them to get to know me. Thank you for your advice.