Guardian Ad Litem
My fiancé has been in a custody battle for around 3 years, and the court date isn't until this summer. The BM does the craziest things. The daughter is 7 and the son is almost 4. The BM is in her 30s, lives with her parents, and has, what feels like, a million diagnosed psychiatric disorders. We finally got a GAL involved last week and we expected her to give us primary right away, but I'm worried it's not heading in that direction. It's hard because I love the kids, and they hate being with her. They become hysterical when it's time to leave and latch on to me and my fiancé. The BM saw the 7yr old girl liked when I do her hair, so she shaved her head. The girl is deeply traumatized. She throws away everything the kids bring back with them, no matter the emotional (or monitory) value. The daughters therapist says the BMs actions are abusive. The BM has found my family members out of state on social media (I don't have social media) and messages and harasses them. It's so hard because the 7yr old tells me she wishes I was her mom, and her real mom would die. I kid you not, this is what she says. I just listen. The problem is, this ongoing custody battle is bleeding us dry, and emotionally I am spent. I've shed so many tears. The GAL's conclusion after the first 5 days gets us back to seeing the kids (BM withheld them for 3weeks). We now have 4/14 nights. This is nothing close to primary. Can somebody offer words of encouragement and/or tell me to snap out of it? Because it feels like we are fighting such an uphill battle.
In my experience, the court
In my experience, the court appears to favor mothers and seems to fail fathers and the children. Our BM played many dirty tricks in court, including false allegations of sexual misconduct and abuse, only as a means to win. Even when those allegations were proven false, BM still left with sole custody. These BMs will do anything, not because they care about the child, but solely as a means to win and maintain control. BMs can be abusive, mental, etc. and still come out with primary custody. It is extremely emotionally and financially taxing to fight for kids and watch the system fail.
Who has had primary custody in the past? If it is BM, it is unlikely to take primary custody from her. What does your attorney say?
4.5 days per week may not be
4.5 days per week may not be primary but it does likely qualify your DH as the CP. Hopefully the Judge will support this GAL recommendation and name dad as the CP.
Then.... he can go for BM's throat for CS and start to document, document, document and deventually put BM in her place and keep her there.
Though sending new stuff for the Skids to BM's for her to destroy when they go back to BM's does likely build ever more proof and demonstrated facts of her toxicity and insanity, when it comes to putting these kids through her delusional wack job crap.... it may be a better idea to have your home be the safe haven and those things to remain in your home for them to enjoy during the 4.5days/wk that they are with you.
Good luck.
Does 4/14 means you guys have
Does 4/14 means you guys have 4 nights and she has 10? So - every other weekend? I'm surprised they don't go to at least 50/50.
Having psychiatric diagnoses is not grounds to lose your children. If the therapist thinks the actions are abusive, is she/he calling CPS?
Sadly, it's hard to get custody away from a mother, even a train wreck one. My guess is that you sadly found a GAL who fees sorry for BM and believes some of her B.S.